We Are Young
by jenismyhomegirl
Summary: McHastings. Paige and Spencer spend a weekend together at an LGBT College Conference and sparks fly. Is it a one-time thing or is there something there that wasn't there before? Not completely AU (references to A and the show including Paily and Scoby), but VERY different in tone.
1. Chapter 1

**Some Author's Notes: **Super rusty on writing fanfiction (this is the first I have written in at least 8 years which makes me feel older than I should have to feel).I know I'm not the best editor but this is a passion project not a work of art. There is some crossover at the beginning with another popular show for teens, but rest assured it was played mostly for gags and won't be a prominent feature. If anyone enjoys this a tenth as much as I am writing it, that would be more than enough.

* * *

**Stanford University. Sophomore year. **

**Paige POV:**

I was surprised when I heard from Spencer Hastings. It wasn't like we stayed close after Emily broke up with me, shortly into my freshman year. Not that I didn't see it coming. She never forgave me for trying to protect her from Allison and for trying to push her to come with me.

It's funny. I remember all the good times. Our kiss by the pool. The first time we had sex together. The way she would smile at me when we were first together and I was so happy I couldn't accept that I still felt more for her than she did for me. I shook my head and sipped a bit from my water bottle. Can't believe I still was this torn up by it. But I guess if we dated on and off for 2 years I still had about half a year to feel justified in still thinking about her every spare moment I had.

And now Spencer was texting me?

Spencer had treated me with nothing but distain and distrust till I literally fought off A while he attacked her. Afterwards I guess I was bumped up to indifference before my relationship with Emily imploded.

But here she was, texting me while I was in the middle of lecture hall. I already had a crazy class load in addition to swimming, and every day was long and stressful. So much for lazy days on the beach and traveling to San Francisco with my girlfriend.

Spencer: Hey Paige. I realize this is out of the blue but I am going to be coming to Stanford for a conference. Wanted to see if you wanted to meet up, catch up on things.

Sounded like charity. Charity about Emily dumping me I didn't need. Well at least not from one of Emily's best friends from high school. I almost thought of ignoring it, but then thought better of it. What would a drink or two hurt anyway?

Paige: Sure. When are you coming? What's the conference?

It took her a bit to respond. I shouldn't even care how fast she replies. But I sort of did. There was a time or two in high school I couldn't help but notice how hot Spencer was. I was committed to Emily but I wasn't blind. In a weird way I resented my lingering attraction to Spencer. I wanted to only think about Emily that way. But that was then and this is now._ And Spencer is straight…_

Spencer: Going to sound strange but it is the LGBT conference. Can explain that in person. In 2 weeks.

My eyes must have bulged out their sockets because the person sitting next to me sifted over a bit from me. What the heck was this? Probably just being supportive of Emily, getting stuff on her resume, and volunteering to help the many groups of people born with fewer privileges than Hastings? All three?

Lecture was wrapping up anyway. I packed all my stuff to head out to swim practice.

* * *

**A Diner in New York, NY. **

**Spencer POV:**

"You got a crush on this girl." Santana said while waiting for one of her plates to come out of the kitchen. I scoffed while waiting to see if Paige would text anything back.

"What? No I don't. I know her from high school." I walked away with a pair of coffees for a table. Santana was following behind to check on hers and probably just to irritate me.

"Please. Last time I was inviting myself out with drinks with someone I knew from high school I could at least say the "s" word was on my mind." She whispered in my ear before snapping into customer service mode and asking a table what their order would be and if she could get them any refills.

"Scissoring?" I muttered to myself. Apparently we were still standing close enough for her to hear me.

"I know you are new to this whole liking girls business, but don't embarrass yourself with that nonsense." She snapped, walking back towards the outgoing food window.

I came back to grab some plates myself. I had it.

I got close enough behind Santana to retort, "Maybe if you had been a better teacher." Santana nearly dropped the plates she was grabbing. Her back tensed but only for a moment. Oh for God sake…

It was already happening. She was slowly turning her head to smirk over her shoulder.

"Oh really Spencer? Is that how you remember it?" She asked. Now Rachel was also looking over ready to start in.

"Can we…not do that weird music thing you guys do? You made your point." I said it shortly and glanced in her eyes and at the ground. Suddenly, like every other hour working here, everyone at the diner seemed perfectly okay with a musical interruption.

Santana walked up to me and got right in my face, close enough to kiss me. _Again and again…_my mind flashed back to some of the hotter nights we spent together after meeting at a club she performed at.

The music beat suddenly hit. I groaned, "You guys are so derivative." I was nearly cut off by Rachel yelping excitedly and clapping in the background. She was like a Chihuahua fed on pure sugar.

Santana unbuttoned the top buttons of her uniform, still close enough to distract me a bit. Exactly where she wanted to be to start her performance.

_You wanted control_

_So we waited_

_I put on a show_

_Now we're naked_

_You say I'm a kid_

_My ego is big_

_I don't give a shit_

_And it goes like this_

She then started strutting backwards, beckoning me with one finger while occasionally rolling her hips:

_Take me by the tongue_

_And I'll know you_

_Kiss me till you're drunk_

_And I'll show you_

_All them moves like Jagger_

_I've got them moves like Jagger…_

She then came forward, grazing the top of my chest and back with one hand as she circled me seductively.

_Maybe it's hard_

_When you feel like you're broken and scarred_

_Nothing feels right_

_But when you're with me_

_I make you believe_

_That I've got the key…_

She continued through the WHOLE song. Complete with Rachel hitting Christina Aguilera's part. After they were done, Santana having spent a good portion of the time posing in increasingly sexual ways while moving her hips like I suppose Mick Jagger would, the diner applauded what I felt was a lackluster cover and returned to normal like it never happened.

I crossed my arms while Santana smiled with one eyebrow arched in triumph.

"Thanks for the quick break from work." I said, trying to move around her. She grabbed my arm, gently but enough to stop me.

"Hey we are all good. Just want to see what is going on with this Stanford girl." She told me. "Well…and remind you I was a great teacher." I smiled at the ground.

"That you were. Her name is Paige. She is Emily's ex-girlfriend. I don't know. I was never super close to her but time changes things. I know Emily is never going to forgive her for how things went down back in high school but I…" I hesitated, not fully understanding why I decided to reach out to Paige.

"I get where she came from. She wanted to protect Emily. She did the wrong thing for the right reasons." I finished off.

"Does Emily know you are trying to hit and quit her ex?" Santana asked, snapping back into sassy bitch mode. I swear she was like a character whose creator couldn't decide what they wanted to do with.

"Santana! Not planning on sleeping with her! We are going to this conference anyway. It would be rude not to preface my arrival to a conference she will probably be at with a quick 'hey it's good old Spencer from Rosewood and I'm kind of bisexual now so thought maybe we could talk about the good old times of trying not to get ax-murdered' so I called her!" Santana rolled her eyes and walked away just in time for the prima donna herself to storm up. Rachel got right in my face, pointing her index finger in my face.

"You think we are SO WEIRD because we like to SING and EXPRESS ourselves. At least we didn't spend high school getting stalked by a murderous yet implausible villain while dressing like a clown vomited on us!" Rachel stomped away after removing her finger from my face and making her point.

"Hey! Only Hanna and Aria dressed like that!" I shouted back.

* * *

**Stanford University **

**Paige POV**

"Alright ladies hit the showers. Keep practicing like you did today and the other teams won't have a chance at conference." Coach Redfield called out. I started to pull my tired body out of the water but was promptly dunked down, someone holding my head down. Chlorinated water got into my mouth and I started flailing around. One of my hands hit the tile wall and I grimaced. Finally the hand let go of my head.

I burst up above the water's surface gasping for breath while ripping off my googles.

"Fuck! Claire come on." I growled. While she was laughing and grabbed her hanging hand and yanked her back down into the pool. It was worth it just to see the split-second of "oh shit!" shock in her eyes as she hit the water.

"GIRLS ENOUGH!" Coach Redfield roared, storming over to watch us both exit the pool minus the horseplay.

"It wasn't funny the first time." I said as Claire and I walked to the showers.

"Fuck yes it was and it still is now. Consider it karma for being such a creeper in the first place and then being dumb enough to tell me you tried to drown your first love." Claire said as she walked.

"It was after I had a few beers in me!" I replied indignantly. I got under a shower and started to wash the chlorine off. "Besides you don't understand everything we went through at that high school." I added.

"Still doesn't change the fact you did it." Claire retorted.

"Hey something interesting came up. Speaking about my high school I mean. Emily's friend Spencer is coming up here the LGBT conference. She asked to hang out but she isn't gay. I mean she wasn't in high school" I said as I lathered up my hair.

"Maybe she wants you." Claire said laughing.

"What? No! Spencer is attractive but definitely straight. She was dating this guy Toby through most of high school."

"Why else would she ask to meet you up at an LGBT conference? Why would she be traveling across the country for that?" Claire's words began to sink in. It did seem like a lot to do just to be an ally. But Spencer wanting to see me was probably more of a formality to not be rude. Especially after everything that happened in high school.

"I don't know. I guess I will see." I murmured. I focused on washing the shampoo out of my hair, but I could see Claire watching me from the corner of my eye.

"You deserve to be happy Paige. I mean in general. I get Emily was important to you but that was high school. There are so many girls here…" I cut her off, shaking my head.

"I know I know. That doesn't mean they would automatically date me. I mean it might be nice to make out with someone else but I'm still figuring things out. Besides with practice and class and keeping up to not lose my scholarship I barely have time for myself." Claire smiled.

"Sounds like you need a good woman to help you out."

"That is a personal assistant. Or a sex slave. I can't really tell which one you are getting at. Right now I'm just mushy squash which is going to attract none of those things."

"What the hell is mushy squash supposed to mean?"

* * *

**Stanford University: The Conference**

**Spencer's POV **

Our bus was finally pulling up to the Stanford campus. When the bus stopped to let us out, everyone who was still awake after the hours of travel started applauding. I had tried to start a conversation with the guy next to me at the beginning of the trip, but he wasn't having it, mumbling something about needing his beauty sleep before the many hedonistic activities he planned to indulge in for the next 48 hours. Wasn't anyone else here to learn?

There was something nice about the warm, balmy air even in spring. Like a perfect summer every day versus the sludge and dirt or New York and the diner I worked at.

We filed in the Visitor's Center on campus to check in our badges and get program guides and campus maps. I pulled out my phone while in line to text Paige.

Spencer: Hey just landed on your campus. You still free tonight? Want to meet up at the opening ceremony and hang out afterwards?

When the few people in front of me moved out of the way, having received their badges, I saw Paige across the table, looking at her phone. She looked just like I remembered her from high school. Her hair was a big shorter and it seemed her muscles had filled out a big more. When she looked up, her brown eyes widened in surprised before she started smirking. We regarded each other like idiots for a moment or two before she quipped, "I'm free as soon as we are done handing out the badges. I'll text you when I get to the amphitheater."

She rifled through the box, coming up with my packet and handing it to me with slightly shaky fingers. Her cheeks were also a tad pink. It was endearing. She was endearing.

"You okay Paige? You seem a little shaky." My words seemed to break whatever weird spell came over us. She glanced down at a Starbucks latte sitting on the table.

"Yeah just too much caffeine combined with adrenaline. There are just so many interesting programs to decide between!" She looked me up and down before gesturing the next person in line forward.

"You look good Spencer. Really good." I started walking away kind of dazed. What the hell just happened? Was Santana right? Was this some subconscious attraction towards Paige I was fighting? There was maybe a time or two I had felt some type of way towards her in high school. Especially after I thanked her for saving me from A on the Ghost Train. But I was happily with Toby most of high school. _And then I continuously chose lying and pills over him. That's why he left. _

I tried to shake the thoughts about high school away as I waited for the rest of the Columbia group so we could walk to our bus and check in to our hotel. It wasn't that I didn't want to make more gay friends at Columbia. It was just tough. I didn't live on campus anymore and I still had a hard time trusting people after high school and A. Part of seeing Paige was relief at not having to explain everything I have been through and how it led me to where I am:

_Hi I'm Spencer Hastings. My friends and I were stalked by a team of murderous villains who made our lives a living hell, driving me to drive nearly everyone I loved away as I relied on pills and lying to get me through my senior year. I then snubbed my parents, choosing Columbia over NYU (Yale was out of the question by then of course)…_

"Spencer! You coming or what?" Tom, one of the gay boys with a strike of blonde of hair and a nose that turned up at the end, called after me.

"Yeah I'm coming." I started to trot after him.

* * *

**Rosewood - Senior Year Early November**

**Paige's POV **

I don't even get why she finds me attractive. But after all this time she is finally mine. And even things with Emily's friends have gotten better, thanks to saving Spencer's life. I gazed at myself in Hanna's bathroom mirror. We were all crashing at her place, having a few drinks to wind down after the incident on Halloween. I opened up the bathroom door as I turned off the light, and was pushed back inside by a tipsy Spencer.

"Ummm hey Spencer? If you need the bathroom you can just let me leave first." The whole not-finding-Spencer-hot was easily compromised by such close quarters in the dark.

"No I just wanted you for a second. Alone." Her serious stare indicated she didn't sound how suggestive she was being. I backed up and realized I had hit both the proverbial and literal wall. Between a wall and a hot spot._ Ugh no wonder people don't laugh at my jokes. _Spencer's breath smelled like the watermelon vodka we had been drinking.

"Did you want to play Bloody Mary together or something?" I asked, gesturing to the darkened mirror. It was impossible to tell but I guessed Spencer rolled her eyes before turning on the light.

"No I don't want to…I wanted to thank you. For the Ghost Train. For saving me. And to apologize for how I treated you before that. You are a good person and I could tell you would do anything to protect Emily." Her warm breath blew on my ear a little while she talked. We were that close. It was intoxicating for a moment. I heard Emily and Hanna crack up laughing in the other room which made me stand rigid. I gazed into Spencer's eyes.

"You're welcome. You were just trying to protect her too. I would never do anything to hurt any of you." I gently touched Spencer's _surprisingly_ toned arm to push her aside and leave the bathroom to rejoin the group. She stopped me again by reaching down and grasping my hand. I gasped like I suddenly touched hot water. She abruptly let me go.

"Paige. Mona is going to be released any day. I would appreciate if you and Caleb kept an eye out on her." I break into the sort of instant sweat that hits you when you are caught doing something wrong.

"How did you…what do you mean Caleb and I?" I sputter. Spencer rolls her eyes. This time I could see it with the lights on.

"Please spare me. Just because the rest of the Scooby's are oblivious doesn't mean I am. I get that you and Caleb are trying to looking out for us. I am just trying to channel that energy productively."

"Okay Spencer. Let me get back to Emily now?" Spencer looked into my eyes a few beats more but finally nodded me off.


	2. Chapter 2

Quick note: Wow thanks for the positive feedback and support so far, I really appreciate it. I was trying to make this story really fit the Stanford local but soon realized there wasn't a huge bar scene so I had to just drop a random, off-campus gay bar in here to make things fit. So sorry to the 1 or 2 people reading this who are like THAT DOESN'T EXIST. At least Old Pro is a real place! :-P

**Spencer's POV**

It was night but the air was still comfortable on my bare skin. I wore a bright red scarf to try and help Paige spot me in the crowd. The Columbia group and I grabbed seats towards the middle of the middle row.

**Spencer: Tried to get in the middle. I'm wearing a bright red scarf. Saved you a few spots next to me. **

While I waited for her response, I went through my calendar notes and double checked the programs I wanted to visit. Something on the Kinsey scale, another on campus grass-roots based activism. Another on LGBT legal rights. At least my parents couldn't say I didn't try to learn with all their money. Well to be fair to them, my mom was there for Emily when she came out. But I somehow didn't think the same blanket-acceptance would apply to her youngest daughter. Especially after all the stuff I put them through in high school. At least high school was over now. _Only the PTSD remains right? _

Tom leaned over and must have noticed what I was doing.

"Spencer seriously the point is to also party with other gay people. Don't lose sight of the mission." He jostled my shoulder gently and offered me some of his mysterious brown paper bag juice.

"I haven't lost sight by any means. But I will save the hooch till after the opening remarks." He shrugged and took another sip. At least I was making progress.

I shot a quick text to Santana saying I hoped everything was good in New York and that I wished she was here. Despite her off-putting sass, Santana had helped me out and taken me in when I had just about given up on myself. And she could break the ice with any stranger or increasingly attractive acquaintance from high school. Like Paige.

I rolled my eyes at my own train of thought. Like I wanted Santana Lopez anywhere near Paige McCullers. Worst case scenario she would make fun of her, systematically picking apart anything she perceived as a character fault. Best case she would seduce her. This was a fortunate thing for me when Santana helped me realize about myself, but bad news for other women who might fall under her spell. Especially Paige. Something told me Paige wasn't the type to just sleep around. Not after how devoted she treated Emily in high school. Paige seemed like a perfect gentleman back then. Who knows though? Now she could be a regular Shane for all I knew.

"Hey Spencer!" I looked up to see Paige standing over me, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She was accompanied by a girl sporting a Stanford hoodie.

"This is my roommate and one of the girls on my swimming team." Paige gestured towards the girl next to her. The girl smiled warmly and I couldn't help but smile back. She had the type of happiness that seemed infectious.

"My name's Claire. And just so we are clear I'm an ally. Specifically of Paige but also of LGBT people in general. My older brother is gay too." Claire reached out to shake my hand, and I noticed she was trying to read my reaction to her slightly implying I was gay. I wonder if Paige put her up to that. I shook her hand firmly, although I was caught a bit off guard by the sharing session that just occurred.

"Well I'm Spencer and it is important to have allies. It is awesome you and Paige are so close." Balls back in your court now, Claire.

Paige took the seat right now to me.

"Thanks for wearing the red scarf it really helped to spot you." Paige mentioned. "So how was traveling here?" I started to try and answer but just at that moment a hushed silence fell over the crowd as the speaker system cracked to life.

"It was good…" I was cut off by Tom shushing me. He rolled his eyes but had a bit of a smile. So much for that progress. One step forward and two shushes back.

By the time the speaker began, thanking us for being here and extolling the values of learning and using this opportunity to improve the lives of LGBT people everywhere, the sky had finally completely darkened into night. I became strangely aware of how close the seats forced Paige and I to be.

* * *

**Paige's POV**

"Claire please try to not do the word vomit thing in front of Spencer." I requested as we walked towards the amphitheater.

"What word vomit thing?" Claire asked innocently.

"You know exactly the kind of stuff I am talking about. Or maybe you don't and you legitimately have a condition, which would explain a lot of what comes out your mouth without any thought or regard. Don't try to figure out if she is gay. Don't try to set us up. You know? Please nod." I implored. She looked puzzled.

"Okay so I have some questions. If I don't know when I am word vomiting how will I know to stop it?" I began to try and explain I had just set some specific guidelines but she continued to talk. "And is she gay? Seriously though?"

"Seriously no…well…I don't think so. This isn't a hook up bottom line." I finished. _Not that I wouldn't mind the opportunity. _Spencer was beautiful. And seeing her here after over a year meant a lot. No one else understood what happened to us before, back in Rosewood. I still woke up from nightmares. Nightmares only made worse by time and imagination warping what happened.

The reality had been hard enough. In my nightmares I went to push the note in a cop cruiser, not watching what I was doing carefully enough to notice Lyndon James in the car. He would grab my wrist, smearing blood on it. Blood my mind would infer was from Emily.

"Paige! Snap out of it! Is that your homegirl? The tall girl wearing the red scarf over there?" My adrenaline spiked and crashed as I tried to shake myself out of the nightmare. This would be another night where I would have to debate taking the sleeping pill and remembering more nightmares, or being an insomniac. At least when I was awake the ghosts that seemed to haunt me weren't as fantastical and twisted. Reality was only as bad as the things that actually happened. Which come to think of it was still awful? Claire grabbed one of my hands in hers and used her other hand to grab my shoulder.

"Paige! Don't do it again. Come on we are here and you are safe." Claire assured me. Despite her penchant for saying and doing inappropriate things, she was there for me. She knew not to make jokes about the more serious stuff that I told her about from Rosewood. And she didn't even know half of what happened. I murmured thanks before starting to walk up and greet Spencer.

"So Tom, this is Paige. She's a friend from my hometown and is at Stanford on a swimming scholarship. Paige, Tom is one of the leaders of the LGBT Pride organization on our campus." Spencer said for introductions. Tom seemed somewhat distracted but managed to smile politely.

"That is great. Listen Paige if you guys don't have plans, we will be engaging in some afterhours partying back at the hotel. You are invited to join, especially if you know any cute guys." I started laughing.

"Well I'm not sure about cute guys, but I will see what I can do. Thanks for the invite!" I said. Tom then walked off. When he was out of earshot Spencer looked at me hawkeyed. That was actually the look I remembered the most from high school.

"Seriously? I have been trying to break into this group of friends for a few months and you just got invited to the afterhours party right away?" She asked, regarding me with less hawkishness. I shrugged.

"We will see about a party, the conference doesn't get us other swim practice tomorrow." After a beat I asked if she was hungry.

"Yeah. Dinner is actually a great idea so we can catch up." Again we awkwardly regarded each other, like we were imagining this whole situation.

"There are a few great places a little over a mile away from here. We can walk. Considering the weather is beautiful tonight. Claire do you mind…?" I asked, hinting this was her time to hike back to the apartment.

"Yeah yeah. It was a pleasure meeting you for two seconds Spencer. Perhaps I will see you again this weekend?" She asked on a hopeful note. Spencer briefly looked at me before replying to Claire. Something about the way she glanced at me made my heart skip a beat. There was a flash of intensity that was entirely unexpected. The look made no sense so I didn't know how to process it.

"That would be great. See you later."

And like that we were off. On whatever reunion thing this was.

* * *

We had decided on the Old Pro.

"I can't believe you got us a pitcher of beer. Neither of us are 21 yet." Spencer said, taking another sip from her glass before setting it down.

"I'm a regular here and an anchor on the swim team. One of the few perks is a beer or two isn't going to be denied." Plus I needed the beer just to calm my nerves a bit to ask what I really wanted to. Swim practice the next day was going to be rough no matter water.

"Spencer…not that I'm not…intrigued…to have you here. But what are you doing here? With me? At a conference for queer people?" Instead of answering me right away she took another deliberate sip or drink, and then of the water next to her. The restaurant had dimmed the lights since it also serves as one of the rare bars near campus. The soft light seemed to illuminate Spencer's pale skin.

"No lies?" She fired back, smirking.

"Preferably not this time. Just the truth." Spencer's smile faded a bit but didn't die down completely.

"Well the short of it was I ended up sleeping with Santana after Toby officially and unequivocally broke up with me. She was performing at a club and…" I cut her off laughing harder than I meant to, partially because I was relieved. Spencer was into girls. I immediately regretted my relief. _She is maybe sort of into girls. That doesn't mean you. _

"Her name is Santana?" Was the only thing I could think to say to explain my relief laughter. Spencer started to relax more, slouching back against the wooden back of the bench she was sitting on.

"Yes. And if you saw her and you weren't already aware you were gay…let's just say she is attractive and persuasive and was there for me when I needed her." She finished off but then quickly added, "that is not to say it was just a one –time thing or that it didn't mean anything…" At this point she trailed off while she started to blush.

"I ended up living with her and her roommates. They really helped me out when it was still hard to trust anyone new at Columbia. And I am proud to say at least Santana was not dating my sister when I slept with her. I have broken some bad habits." I laughed at that too. Spencer has definitely loosened up since high school. I was so used to seeing her unhappy and distressed, it was a relief to see her relax.

"Yeah I guess that was a character trait of yours in high school, huh?" She dipped her head down as she blushed. I became strangely aware of how close our legs and feet were under the table. Occasionally our shins would touch and we would leave them for a moment, sending an electric pulse up my body. I tried to gather my wherewithal.

"You go to Columbia? I thought you would be at NYU?" I asked, cursing myself for interrupting again. I took another swig of the beer that was definitely starting to hit me.

"Well…I got accepted to both but I choose Columbia to stick it to my parents. I would go to a great school, but not one they wanted for me. That sounds incredibly childish now, but I love the academics at Columbia. And they are happy that I'm happy and thus not taking drugs again." I gently touched her forearm, stroking the bare skin for a moment before sheepishly pulling my hand away. _WHAT THE FUCK SELF?_

"It must have been tough. What you did is huge. You are one of the strongest people I know." I added, still upset about my indiscretion.

After a beat I softly said Spencer's name but she cut me off before I could continue.

"I'm sorry about you and Emily." Spencer blurted out, the words coming so fast they tumbled on top of each other on the way out. I was so taken aback I coughed a little bit on my drink.

"I am also sorry I said that out loud. I know it is probably weird being here with me since she was our main common ground. But we also both experienced Rosewood together. And you are a good person through and through Paige. I'm sorry I pushed you away in high school so often." We were both silent as the waiter came by to drop off our check.

"Whenever you are ready ladies." He said, winking. I snatched it and promptly put my card down.

"Let's split it." Spencer said reaching for her wallet. I stopped her by gently touching her hand again. This was becoming a bad habit.

"I've got it. Consider it a thank you for coming here and taking time to see me." I reassured her.

"So…coming to the after party?" She asked coyly.

"About that…you interested in seeing the one and only LGBT bar near campus? A few of my friends will be up there. You can invite yours too." She smiled back at me, finishing the last sip of her beer.

"Let's do it. I'll text Tom."

* * *

**Spencer's POV**

The beer was starting to hit me much harder than I was expecting. It was a short cab ride till we arrived in front of L-Street. Paige managed to pay for the cab ride too before I could protest. We waited in the still warm, night air in a short line snaking into the entrance. I could hear Pitbull blaring inside. God at least I have never heard Rachel cover that…at least not yet.

"Hey everything okay?" Paige asked. She was standing close enough so I could smell the beer on her breath, though it didn't seem to affect her nearly as much as me.

"Yeah. Sorry. My roommates have a terrible tendency of bursting into musical numbers, including popular hits from today." I suddenly became terribly self-conscious about how weird I just sounded. _Why am I nervous in front of Paige_?

But my nervousness was quickly alleviated by Paige laughing. It felt good to be around someone who took things with stride, and didn't constantly try to put people down. She was down to earth, just the way she was in high school. _When she was with Emily_. Had to keep reminding myself.

Paige looked down at the ground. "Is this weird? Being here with me?"

"Is it weird having me here?" I shot back.

"Yeah. But it is a weird I like." She responded, still talking to the ground.

* * *

"Let me get these." I said, buying the beers for both of us. L-Street seemed extremely lax about their carding policy, so we just got served.

"So have they covered this one too?" Paige asked as Lady Gaga began to play.

"Oh my God every single one." We had some beers in our hands, awkwardly standing near the main dance floor and sipping in between conversation. Tom had finally shown up with a few friends. They were thoroughly trashed and went right to dancing, making use of the small stage that allowed the braver dancers to elevate themselves above the dance floor. Strobe lights ran back and forth, occasionally illuminating some of the crowd.

After Paige and I fell into a silence, I became aware of our physical proximity again. We were so close our hands could easily graze one another, and I was now aware of how much I wanted that to happen. In the back of my brain I knew some of that was the alcohol. But we were in college and young. And Paige smelled like a mix of Irish Spring and fabric softener. It was intoxicating.

Tom came up and pulled me onto the dance floor. He was clearly drunk but at least I was making friends. The group Paige had said would be here was supposedly running on "gay time" and hadn't arrived yet. I tried to fumble around and dance with Tom and his friends, accidently sloshing beer on a random stranger before setting my cup down.

Katy Perry's "Dark Horse" came on and suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. Paige had gotten behind me and was smiling. She leaned in, pressing her mouth to my ear to ask if Rachel and Company had ever covered this one. I smiled and shook my head.

"Not yet!" I shouted over the music and crowd. She must have tossed her beer on the way to the dance floor, because both her hands were free as she gently touched my hips and started swaying to the music.

I drew myself closer to her and we started moving together. At first it felt innocent. For a song or two we danced a platonic distance away. Just two girls dancing.

But then something shifted. It was like we were magnets. My thigh slipped between hers and her hands eagerly pulled me in even closer against her clothes and skin. I could feel her tight trap muscles as I moved my hands first to her shoulders and then up to her neck. I gasped when I saw a glance of the intensity in her eyes.

"Spencer." She growled softly. I hadn't heard her voice sound like that ever before. Small but powerful. I became aware that she had my back pressed against the stage, essentially trapping me against the wall.

Her eyes searched mine for a moment, seeking permission. I nodded nearly imperceptibly and she lowered her head to gently kiss my neck. I groaned at the unexpected contact of her mouth on my skin. I wanted this. I tilted my head back to give her better access and she complied with my welcoming gesturing, kissing more along the veins pumping blood throughout my suddenly overheated body.

I opened my eyes and braced myself to kiss her the moment she pulled her mouth away from my neck, and was shocked to see someone I recognized barely. It was Paige's roommate, staring at us with a look of sheer delight. With her stood an androgynous couple, one short and curvy and the other tall and lean with thick glasses.

Paige had just begun to give me a hickey when I reluctantly whispered that her roommate and friends were here. And they were staring at us. Claire had a tray of bright green shots in her hands. At first she rested her forehead against my shoulder. I thought maybe she hadn't heard me. Meanwhile her friends were scampering back, pretending like they hadn't been acting like a fan club a minute ago.

"Oh my fuck." She mumbled into my neck before turning to scowl at her friends. I followed after her, a little wobbly from the moment that had just been broken.

"Oh hey Paige got you guys some shots too…" Claire trailed off from the brief death glare Paige shot at her.

"Spencer this is Emily and Tara." Paige gestured towards the two holding hands.

Claire pushed each of the small plastic shot glasses towards us on the tray, like a little drunk army of pawns. We all took one and clinked the plastic together before drinking. The taste of cheap vodka burned my throat even though the green apple taste nearly masked it.

"I'll be back I am going to go to the washroom." I said.

Miraculously, there wasn't a line to the bathroom although the small room created a cacophony of gossip. One piece caught my attention while I was still in my stall.

"Did you see that girl McCullers was with?" A peppy, high-pitched voice said. I couldn't see the source from where I was.

"Smoking hot." The a throaty voice assessed. I grinned. I'll take it.

"Especially after she has been emo over her high school sweetheart for so long." The words cut through me. I hadn't thought of Emily once since Paige and I had danced together. I took a breath. It was over between them. I wouldn't exactly broadcast this situation to Emily. I didn't even know what this situation was yet.

I also felt bad for Paige. She had done what she thought was right back then. After I couldn't hear the two girls that had been talking about Paige anymore, I exited the stall to wash my hands.

When I walked out of the bathroom I found Paige and her friends around the same table. Claire was elbowing Paige's ribs and it was clear Paige was laughing and blushing at the same time. _She's beautiful. _There was something about the way she looked down at the ground when embarrassed or unsure of how to approach something. And about where we were. We were in a club full of people but free from the constraints of Rosewood. No one would have to know.

I marched up to her and took her hand. As she turned to look at me, surprised, I used my other hand to cup her cheek and kiss her passionately.

"WHOA!" Someone shouted from the dance floor. We just smiled against each other's lips and kept kissing. Kissing Paige was so different from Toby or Santana. It didn't feel like she was in love with me like the former or that she was partially trying to prove how hot she was like the latter. It was just sweet and hungry. And I wanted more of it and her. When we finally broke apart I pulled back to look in her eyes. It took Paige an extra moment to open hers, and when she did she seemed kind of dazed.

"That was unexpected." She said slowly. Her hands had found their way to my hips again, and she lightly tracing patterns against the side of my jeans.

"Take me back to your place?" I whispered. I was suddenly and strangely nervous she would say no and start regretting what just happened. The serious look in her eyes as she gazed into mine confirmed this was a big deal.

"Are you sure? You didn't have too much to drink or anything?" She asked.

"No why? You don't think I can make my own decisions?" I snapped back, irritated.

"I don't want to take advantage of you. Having you here, it feels good." She trailed off, looking at the ground again. I gently touched her chin to lift her face back up to mine and kissed her again. I could hear her moan against my lips.

"I don't know what this is but I want to go back with you." I whispered against her mouth. This time I could feel her posture change, her arms suddenly holding me tight enough that I could notice the strength in them. It was turning me on to know she could overpower me if I wanted her to.

"Okay." She said. "Let me just say goodbye to my friends.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks again for the kind words and follows. This is finally a chapter that earns the "M for Mature" rating I gave this story overall. If you don't want to read Mature stuff, you can probably skip to the morning after stuff right at the end and not be too lost on the rest of the story. **

**Paige's POV**

I reluctantly let go of Spencer's hips to find Claire, Emily and Tara on the dance floor. Claire saw me and gave a hesitant thumb up to try and access how the evening was going.

"I'm taking Spencer back to the apartment." I shouted over the music. Claire purposely dropped her jaw as low as she could. I waited for her to regain composure.

"I will occupy myself ALL NIGHT LONG." She yelled and started clapping like an overly-enthusiastic toddler. I waved off Emily and Tara and rejoined Spencer. Her sly smile was making me feel things I hadn't in so long. I couldn't believe I was about to go home with someone I had found hot since high school. I also couldn't believe how nerdy that thought was. I took her hand, and hoped she didn't notice or mind how sweaty my palm was from her touch.

"Let's go." I murmured, nearly unable to tear my eyes from hers. They seemed a darker brown than usual.

We got outside and the temperature had finally fallen enough to feel a tad chilly as our bodies rapidly cooled from the open air. There wasn't a taxi in sight which made sense given my luck in life. The one time I had someone to leave with and no taxi in sight.

"We can try to flag someone down in a bit. In the meantime we can start walking to the bus stop." I cringed at my words but there wasn't much other choice. We started walking in between a few clumps of different groups who had gone to the bar as well. The silence between us suddenly seemed strained under the weight of what happened. Of what was still happening.

I wondered if she would regret all this. Or if I would. I was the one with an actual crush. I was the one that could develop feelings. What a pathetic pattern to develop. At this rate I could start to think about if Aria or Hanna was next on my list of romantic interests. I had literally fled cross country to get away from Rosewood and here I was going home with Spencer Hastings.

* * *

After a silent bus ride and an even quieter walk, we finally got back to my apartment. I closed the door and locked it behind us, noticing Spencer looking around at the walls and furnishings. It was still throwing me off that this all was happening. The apartment was so quiet and my ears were ringing from the music at the bar.

"Do you want some water?" I asked. I wasn't sure how to proceed at this point. The only person I had even been with was Emily.

"That would be nice…your place is wonderful. Really swank for college." She elaborated. Spencer didn't seem drunk, but she was definitely more relaxed than usual. Then again I was used to seeing her stalked by a crazy murderer, so anyone might relax a bit after finally escaping that.

"Coming from a Hastings I'll consider that a very high honor." I poured her a glass and handed it to her, our fingers brushing again and sending another electric jolt through my body.

"Well we may have not been afforded our own in-ground pool but my family did decent for sure." She fired back, taking a gulp of her water. I chuckled.

"Touché. I am going to go freshen up and I will be happy to give you a tour of the whole place. Unfortunately I now have to share my in-ground pool with other tenants of the apartment complex." I walked to the bathroom, and once I shut the door behind me I drew a deep breath. I looked in the mirror.

"Alright McCullers remember how bad you wanted this. Don't screw it up. You are going to have sex like a normal twentysomething college student, and NOT be weird and hung up about it." I gave myself a light but quiet slap for effect. I didn't want to appear any crazier than I already did in case Spencer could hear me. I focused on brushing my teeth and washing my hands.

When I exited the bathroom, Spencer was leaning against a counter in the kitchen. Her small smile and incredibly kissable lips were driving me crazy. I wanted her clothes off now. My body was a storm of lust and nervousness, wired and awake like I was about to compete at a meet. I grimaced thinking about how rough practice would be tomorrow.

"Your tour waits." I said, gesturing to the rest of the room attached to the kitchen. The apartment wasn't that big, but the complex was definitely more expensive than the dorms or shared houses. It was well maintained and included a decent splattering of athletic perks and equipment.

"This is the living room." I said, looking at the space. "Two couches, a table, and a decent flat screen television typically utilized for sports and _Game of Thrones._" I could feel Spencer's breath on my neck. She sucked on my earlobe, making my knees suddenly weak. Her voice, extra raspy from talking over the music at different bars, sounded like sex.

"Very interesting. I'm also into _Game of Thrones_." I felt something hit my foot and realized she had just unbuttoned and taken off her shirt, leaving a tiny tank top and her red scarf. I turned around and she started unzipping my hoodie so I could pull it off.

I gestured towards the kitchen behind her.

"You've already seen the kitchen of course. And I want to undress you myself." I said it so softly I didn't think she would hear. I wanted to talk dirty but I also didn't want to creep her out. She started giggling. I lifted the hem of her tank top, making sure to run my trimmed nails up her lean, long torso. Her skin was an enticing creamy pale, like she belonged in the Regency era. She was wearing a plain, red bra that cupped her breasts. I let her tank top drop to the floor and reached behind her to cup her ass with one hand, pulling her flush against my thigh. In the fantasies I may or may not have had of Spencer Hastings, she was not on top.

"Paige." She groaned, leaning in to kiss me. I pulled back, letting her go to keep her anticipating.

"Tour's not over yet." I took my socks off. She looked down at my feet and back up at me, flummoxed.

"That hardly seems like a fair trade."

"Not my fault you started with your blouse in order to make a spectacle." I retorted, grabbing her hand to pull her towards the hallway.

"Here's Claire's room." I opened her door, motioning for Spencer to remove another article. She went with her own socks this time. I pulled off my shirt. She gasped, gazing at my stomach. It was toned from years of training for swimming. She gingerly laid a hand on my abs. Her hands felt small and hot on my body. I wanted them everywhere. As she touched my stomach I felt an electric spark travel right to my core. I knew I would beg her for it if she made me right at that moment. Then she noticed the scar on the side of my torso.

"Paige…what…" She looked up and her eyes were almost glistening with tears. I shushed her with a kiss, pulling her hand off my stomach.

"Let's not talk about it. We don't have to deal with Rosewood. We are here to live in this moment." We kissed again, her mouth opening so I could slip my tongue against hers. I tangled a hand in her long hair, tugging gently to keep her in place. After a moment we broke apart and she nodded over to another door.

"I presume that's the bathroom." Her hand rested on my belt buckle.

"You presume correctly." She eagerly pulled open my belt and went to work on the button and fly of my jeans, frantically trying to yank them down. I helped, pulling them all the way down before stepping side to side to get out of them completely. They always make taking clothes off look so easy in the movies.

I pushed her against the door to my room and went to work getting her skin tight jeans off. She helped me, laughing as she fumbled to get them off and nearly fell.

When we finally got them off, we looked at one another and stopped laughing. I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. I took in the sight of her long legs. I needed to be between them. Now.

"I've always had a thing for you Spencer. You are so sexy." I said softly. I grabbed the back of her thighs. "I've got you just jump up a bit and wrap your legs around me." She hoisted herself around my hips. She was heavier than I thought she would be but I managed to get her to and on the bed. My bed.

"And this final room is my bedroom…" The quiet of the apartment seemed even louder in here. The only sound was Spencer gasping and the covers rustling under us as I got on top of her. Her long hair had a fruity scent that seemed familiar but at the same time, unique on Spencer.

I started kissing her, sparks still warming my body at the contact as she writhed under me, trying to snap our bodies together. I licked her neck and bit, first soft then hard while her hands roamed all over my body. I reached under her and she instinctually curved up so I could unhook her bra. All she had on was the red scarf and her underwear. I noted her pale, pink nipples before lowering my mouth to one and my fingers to the other, occasionally switching and testing what pressure and intensity she seemed to like.

"Beautiful." I whispered, starting to unconsciously grind my hips against hers, thrusting my thigh against her center. She grabbed my ass and started pulling me back and forth. I pulled her up by the red scarf to kiss her, barely able to pace myself.

"I'm trying to take my time but I can't stop myself. I need this." I whispered before slipping my hand into her panties.

"Paige." She groaned. Her skin was so soft. Even the small amount of pubic hair she kept was soft. Otherwise she was smoothly shaven. Had she been anticipating this?

"God you are so wet." I whispered, surprised. She wasn't that loud so I wasn't sure I was actually turning her on enough to give it to her hard but apparently I was. In abundance.

I entered her first with two fingers. She felt tight and open at the same time. I began to stroke and pound, and soon her hips were rising up to meet me, forming a an addictive new rhythm as we figured each other out.

"More." She whispered. I pretended not to hear. She responded by putting her palm against my hair and pushing my head down.

"Please." She murmured. I slowly and deliberately ran my tongue over her, appreciating the shocked gasp the contact elicited. She didn't have a distinct taste, other than a slight saltiness. I wanted more.

* * *

Spencer let out one last shudder, and I relished the throbbing I could feel as I pulled myself out and curled up next to her. She rolled up against me, still recovering.

"You are…really good at that." She murmured into my neck. I started chuckling.

"I aim to please."

"Yeah?" She kissed my cheek and rolled up so she was on top of me, sitting on my hips and playing with my bra straps. "So do I."

* * *

"Wow. That was…" I trailed off, trying to think of words.

"Go easy on me. You are only the second woman I have done that with." Spencer said, wiping her mouth against the back of her hand before coming up to kiss me gently.

"I don't need to go easy. That was fantastic. Us…in bed…is fucking amazing. Pun intended." I added.

She stroked my cheek and kissed me again, slowly.

"I may have read some books on the topic." She added. I liked that her sense of pride at her sexual research trumped any embarrassment someone would typically feel about saying that. After a moment she nuzzled up against me again.

"Are you going to turn off that nightlight?" She asked, gesturing to the small light in the corner outlet. I could barely form words let alone explain.

"Sorry…no. I still…still can't bring myself to sleep in a completely dark room after Rosewood."

"I understand." She said softly. My heart had just started to slow and it briefly sped up again at her understanding. I impulsively kissed her on the forehead, a protective gesture I immediately regretted.

"I suppose you would. Maybe that is why this happened." I said, nearly slurring my words from the combination of exhaustion, alcohol and orgasm. Not a bad combination. I waited for her response but she had already drifted asleep.

* * *

Someone was pounding on my head. I slowly opened one eye and instantly regretted it. The bit of sunlight streaming in was already aggravating my hangover and I was thirsty.

The pounding started again and I realized it was my door. I looked at the clock. It was 9 AM. The exact time I was supposed to be at swim practice.

"FUCK!" I blurted out, jumping up to throw my swimsuit on. The knocking was Claire who was throwing herself under the bus with Coach Redfield in order to help me make it to practice. I glanced over at Spencer. She had been wrapped around me like a vine. Her soft body had fit against my harder one so perfectly. The sunlight streaming in seemed to highlight the fruit-scented hair that had danced against my thighs yesterday when she was going…

"PAIGE!" Claire said again. Now Spencer started to stir. I was in the clothes I needed to be in, personal hygiene be damned. I gazed at the woman in my bed. I sat next to her, gently touching her naked shoulder blade.

"Hey Spencer I have to literally run to swim practice. And you have conference programs." At this Spencer's eyes flew open and she bolted into action like I had run a few volts of energy through her.

"Last night was…" I trailed off, reaching into the air in front of me as if trying to pull out the right words.

"Fucking amazing." She mumbled into the pillow. I smiled despite myself.

"I HAVE YOUR FRIEND'S CLOTHES OUT HERE." Claire cracked the door and handed me the clothes.

"Thanks Claire." I handed Spencer's clothes to her. After a few moments, we left the apartment and the warm sun hit us. Claire handed me a Gatorade and some Tylenol. This is why I kept her around. When we got down to the street Claire walked ahead a few steps to allow for a slightly-more private goodbye.

"Just take Stock Home Road down to the Main Quad. That should get you to where most of the programs will be held." I looked at her, noticing she seemed a little thrown off by everything. I leaned in and kissed her, letting my lips linger on hers for a few moments. When I pulled away, I noticed she waited a beat before opening her eyes which melted me for a moment.

"Text me okay?" I jogged off before she could answer, joining up with Claire to start what would be a brutal practice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Once again I want to thank everyone for their kind words and support. Fortunately for the sake of this story, I was sick this weekend and got a LOT of writing done.**

**Also my apologies because I just realized when posting the 3rd chapter that my line breaks weren't showing up. I imagine it was like watching a film that would suddenly skip scenes! I have tried to be more diligent about double checking the line breaks, and trying not to slip back and forth between past and present tense.**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy. I have started writing one of the later parts of the story, so I am psyched about where stuff is going. And this is another M for Mature chapter. **

* * *

**Paige's POV**

So this is what it feels like to drop from heaven to hell. My lungs are burning with fire, my mouth aching with thirst and I'm surrounded by water I shouldn't actually drink. I'm starving, craving some combination of every junk food from every different ethnicity. The only thing pulling me through besides the electrolytes and pain relievers are my memories of Spencer Hastings and our night together.

"So did I make myself clear about what happens when you are late for practice? Not to mention you are the anchor and in all probability future CAPTAIN of the team?" Coach Redfield said sadistically.

"You are a MONSTER!" Claire yelled, making the Coach break into laughter. Only Claire could get away with that type of humor.

"Yes I am." Coach said before walking off. "You can hit the showers. See you bright and early Monday morning." She yelled over her shoulder.

"You. Are. Welcome." Claire said, emphasizing each word as she pulled herself out of the pool and extended a hand to help me out.

"I would usually tease you for being so self-congratulatory, but you are seriously a true friend for everything you have done the past 12 hours. Also I am actually dead and thus cannot pull myself out of the pool right now." I added, still tempted to just drink the pool water. Claire grabbed my arm and I decided to cooperate before she tore my shoulder out of its socket.

"Actually it has been more like 16 hours since you also ditched me to go on your date at the Old Pro. You KNOW I love that place. You are lucky they hooked you up with beer without me." She added as we limped towards the showers. Even though getting served the beer could be chalked up to athletic privilege, it was really Claire's charisma from previous visits that got us served.

"Yes you are absolutely right." I added, careful to not irritate her. We got under the showers, and I ran mine as hot as I found tolerable to try and jump start my muscle recovery. I was going to be sore come tomorrow. As it was, my body was aching from relearning the intricate movements of sex. My legs still ached from flexing and straining thanks to Spencer's careful, deliberate manipulations.

"And all you have to do is pay me in the form of DETAILS. I am SO PROUD OF YOU." I smiled despite myself.

"It was…she was really good. Amazing. It is still crazy to think about. We are talking about someone I thought was hot since middle school even." I added. If you can think people are hot in middle school…saying that in college just sounded creepy and "To Catch a Predator" –like.

"Did you guys play strip poker or something? Why was I picking up clothes everywhere?" Claire asked. I smirked.

"I guess you could say we played 'Strip Tour of the Apartment.'" I said in my most cocky, pretentious voice. Claire dropped her smile and just looked at me with the most earnest expression she could muster.

"That was so dorky that I am debating even asking anymore questions. Okay who was on top?" She asked after a beat.

"Uh I will answer that if you actually want me to but are you sure you want visuals?" She regarded me thoughtfully.

"Yeah I guess not. I might think less of you depending on your answers anyway. So what is the plan now?" That is exactly what I had been wondering myself. I had no idea what Spencer wanted. She was still in town for another night.

"I don't know. I asked her to text me later. I think maybe it is best to let her set the pace."

When we finally started our trek back to the apartment, I broke down and texted Spencer.

**Paige: Hope your day is going well. Up to anything tonight?**

I know part of it was how great it felt to have sex again, which felt base and silly to think to myself. But being with Spencer had woken my body up to something I hadn't felt since Emily. I hadn't so much as kissed anyone else, save for a few tipsy make outs with Shana at some dreadful Noel Kahn parties. And most of those had been stupid attempts to make Emily jealous. Which Alison had delighted in calling me out on, toying with Emily right in front of me in one of her many bullshit, _Mean Girls_ tactics to irritate me.

I still remember the way Spencer had looked at me at those parties. Sad. Almost like she felt bad for me and the situation I was in. Seeing Spencer feel badly for me should have made me feel pitiful, but I actually appreciated it. I wished Emily had felt the same way at the time, or tried to listen to me.

I glanced down at my phone. No text from Spencer. _Stupid Paige_ I scolded myself. This was going to be a long day if I acted that desperate.

* * *

**Spencer's POV**

"There are a lot of different ways we can try and incorporate queer activism in our everyday lives…"

_Paige's kisses had smeared my lip gloss on the dance floor…I never wanted someone to have their way with me so badly…_

"Letter writing to our representatives, sparking conversations with coworkers and peers…"

_When she lifted me up and took me to her bed it only confirmed how strong I thought she was, and she seemed to know just how to pace herself till I was dizzy and desperate for her mouth and tongue all over me._

"Are you paying attention to any of this one?" Tom whisper-scolded me. I glanced down at my dying phone and blank notebook.

"Sorry…" I muttered. "Long night." Tom arched and eyebrow.

"Hastings! Did you go home with that girl you met up with? I'm impressed!" I smiled at him before we both got shushed.

"I want all the details in between sessions." _All the details? Doubtful you want me to be as explicit as the looping track in my memory._ "But for now focus so we gather some decent information to go home with."

I wanted to think it was just great sex like my drunken rebounds with Santana had been. It certainly wasn't a release of built up attraction and shared intimacy like with Toby. Instead being with Paige was some kind of bizarre in-between. Maybe it was just because she was from Rosewood. Maybe it was the way she looked at me, her brown eyes so utterly sincere and world-weary which was strangely a turn on.

My phone buzzed and I nearly jumped up in anticipation.

**Hanna: Hey girl hey! How are things?**

I put my phone back down, rolling my eyes. Hanna didn't even know I was at a conference. Why whenever you were waiting for a specific person to text did everyone else come out the woodwork?

* * *

A short while later, my phone died sans any texts from Paige. Good. Maybe now I would just focus on the programs I signed up for. The whole damn reason I came out here.

* * *

"It WILL be lame Spencer. I guarantee the lameness. But I also guarantee that we will find some hotties to bring back to our very own hotel party." Tom said, swigging from a red solo cup. I took a sip of the jungle juice he created and grimaced despite it being my second cup of the stuff. It was disgustingly strong and sweet, like Noel and Tom mixed drinks from the same terrible handbook.

Once I had finally gotten my phone charged up, I realized Paige had still not texted me. She had said she would text me I could swear it. And I didn't want to look desperate. I hiccupped from the carbonated pop in the drink.

"Sure. Have to get those hotties." I said sarcastically. Maybe bringing a cute boy or girl back to the party wouldn't be so bad. Well it would probably have to be a girl given that most the guys were probably gay.

"Alright troops LET'S GO." Tom said, pouring some tequila in a flask and handing it to me.

"Sorry she didn't text Spencer. Find someone to make her jealous. You are on a streak after all." I nodded with a smile that didn't reach my eyes, frowning once Tom turned around.

* * *

The dance is just as lame as Tom promised it would be. Since the conference was open to any grade that meant no drinking or alcohol served. Since we were in college, the lights were barely dimmed to reduce the chances of an orgy-porgy breaking out. It was in a giant gymnasium and they were playing hits from circa 2000 onwards (it was currently "In Da Club" by 50 Cent), it reeked of middle school dance. All I needed was a retainer and someone to stand as far away from as humanly possible while pretending to dance together. _At least Rachel or Kurt haven't attempted to rap too often…_

Tom and some of the other guys from the program were chatting up some guys decked out in athletic attire. Well I guess Tom and I shared a type when it came to athletes.

I was content awkwardly wallflowering, sipping from the flask Tom had provided for me when I thought supervisors weren't looking. Maybe one of the guys Tom talked up would at least be bisexual. _And maybe he would be as good in bed as Paige was. _I snickered to myself. A guy like Paige McCullers._ Except I want the real thing. _I shook my head, and finally focused enough to notice the girl standing in front of me.

"Hey. I think we were in a presentation together earlier. Robyn Ochs and the Kinsey scale? My name's Lauren." Lauren had curly, light brown hair and thick-rimmed glasses. I smile at her.

"I'm Spencer. Pleasure to meet you." I extended my hand and Lauren shook it, letting hers linger a beat longer than necessary. She started making small talk about the presentation, asking about where I had ranked myself. She was cute, definitely a little nerdy which I appreciated.

That's when I noticed Paige towards the center of the crowd. She was with the friends I had briefly met yesterday before we left the bar. She looked like she was having fun, laughing and pretending to flex her bicep for them before laughing again. She was wearing a black button up, the sleeves rolled on her forearms and the top buttons undone to give a hint of the tanned, smooth flesh that lay underneath. Skin that just yesterday I had run my hands and tongue all over while she gripped the sheets. That's when I noticed a dead ringer for Emma Stone standing by Paige, touching her arm flirtatiously.

"Sorry Lauren. Excuse me while I rudely text for a second." I said, my words coming out sterner than was polite or even acceptable in the middle of our banter.

"…sure. Duty calls right?" She said, playing it off.

**Spencer: I see you are enjoying yourself. **

A few beats later I could see Paige duck her head down, clearly looking at her phone because a moment later she looked up, searching like an animal that suddenly sensed a predator. Emma Stone was trying to dance far enough from Paige to not make the first move, but close enough to imply she was okay if something did happen.

That is when Paige locked eyes with me.

I had no reason to be jealous. And I wasn't. This was about…_lust_.

This was about Paige being my territory. At least for the weekend. We had passed out in each's others arms yesterday, satisfied. But now I realized just how much I wanted more from her.

"Sorry again for rudely walking away from you. You seem like a great woman." I said to Lauren before walking up to Paige. I realized I was storming since people who were just dancing and chatting started clearing a path for me. I probably looked like I was about to hit her with a shovel so I slowed down, suddenly feeling awkward. Paige clearly did too, frowning slightly as I approached, but not before I saw her look me up and down.

"Spencer…" she said, trailing off. She was wearing eyeliner tonight which just made me focus more on her puppy dog eyes. How could Emily stay so mad with her? I already felt stupid for basically storming up to her in a jealousy-like rage. I then realized I was thinking to myself so much I looked like an idiot for not replying.

"Paige…you never texted me. After you said you would. Not that you had to. If it was just a one night stand between old friends I get it. I just wish that would have been clearer this morning." I may want her, but I wasn't above embarrassing her or expressing my annoyance. Emma Stone's eyes widened into saucers as her jaw dropped.

"Oh shit GIRLFIGHT!" A tomboy said to her group of friends a few feet away from us. Once that girl saw me shoot daggers at her the smile fell off her face.

"Seriously!?" I fired back. "That's what I thought." The group of girls turned around, the show over. Paige rolled her eyes at me or the girls or the whole situation. But there was something else in her eyes too, and I couldn't quite pin it down or define it. She grabbed my other hand to lead me to an isolated corner away from the masses.

"Sorry guys I'll catch up with you later." She said to her friends. We stopped near a corner of the gym, semi-secluded by a load-bearing pillar.

"Okay Spencer. One. I asked you to text me and you never did. Two. I broke down and texted you promptly after one of the worst practices of my life and you never responded." She said, her voice betraying hurt.

"I never got a text from you Paige." I said decisively.

"Did your phone die or something?" I immediately closed my eyes, trying to shield my brain from the sudden knowledge Paige was right and I had misjudged the situation. My phone had died and never received the text, even after I recharged it.

"…maybe?" I answered, defeated. I was embarrassed for my behavior and level of intoxication. Paige has clearly not been drinking nearly as much as I have.

"So this is a stupid misunderstanding…and we actually both wanted to see each other again?" Paige says carefully, talking to the floor while she moves slightly closer. I dry swallow, suddenly aware of how close we are standing. I let my hand drop near Paige's and soon our fingers are purposely grazing each other. At first the touches are brief and flitting enough to pretend it is an accident. But then she entwines a couple fingers with mine. She glances up at my lips and then my eyes. Then back down to my lips.

"Spencer…how much have you had to drink?" She finally asks, glancing down at the flask. I gaze at Paige's lips before I answer.

"I'm not drunk. I know what I want." I say, almost pleading at this point. I'm not sure if I kiss her or she kisses me first, but the flask clatters on the floor and then I have Paige against the pillar our hands excitedly running over each other's clothed body for a few minutes. Remembering we are still very much in public, I resist my desire to start unbuttoning Paige's jeans and shirt.

Paige breaks away and holds a hand against the top of my chest to stop me from immediately moving against her again.

"Spencer please stop for a second. You know it is important for me to know you can consent to this." Paige's breath is already heavy with lust and anticipation.

"My blood alcohol is at roughly point zero-nine percent. In one half hour if I stopped drinking I would be fine to drive a car." I reply.

"How the hell do you know you blood alcohol content off the top of your head?" Paige asks, sounding confused.

"Even though I wasn't an alcoholic I was an addict in high school. I may party but I can still do a basic estimate of my blood alcohol." I gently trace a hand against the side of Paige's neck. "I do it to make sure I never get out of control again. I made enough mistakes in high school to last a lifetime." I mention, not wanting to dwell on that night Alison disappeared or drunkenly throwing myself at Wren or my crazy noir fantasy.

Paige still looks thoughtful so I continue, "I know what happened with Emily's flask. I know it is important to you to know that I can and do consent. And I do. I didn't get enough of you last night Paige." At that her eyes shoot up from the ground to mine. She nods and grabs my hand to lead me somewhere, anywhere we can be alone.

I just leave the flask behind while Paige pulls me first into the crowded main hallway I used to enter the dance. We walk past the clusters of people still milling about outside the dance and she uses a keycard to scan us into a door across the hall.

The scents of chlorine and sunblock instantly hit my nose. At the end of the hall I can see the water of a giant pool reflecting off the walls. It's a little eerie and very beautiful; the loud noise of the crowds outside now a distant murmur. We are alone again and I am wet with anticipation. Paige scans her keycard again to another door along the side of the hall we're walking down, right before the pool area.

The room's dark, but there are floor to ceiling windows on the side facing the pool, so the waves seem to dance along the walls and ceiling, reflecting and lightening the room up enough for me to make things out. There's a billiards table, leather couches all spread around a hardwood floor. The walls are lined with books and trophies, along with group pictures of teammates and a dart board.

"What is this?" I ask. It was swank. Paige turns and slams her body flush against mine, trapping me against the door. She practically rips my blouse off over my head.

"Varsity lounge. I technically shouldn't have access till next year but Claire is good with people and got us in early. Spencer…I have been thinking about you all day." She was already cupping my bra, rubbing the lacy fabric against my sensitive nipples. They harden under the sensation.

"Fuck Paige take me." She pulls me over to one of the couches and pushes me down on it. This time it's more frantic than yesterday. I am even more turned feeling confident she is going to be able to get me off. I start unbuttoning my jeans as Paige bites and nips at my neck. I know I will have marks the next day but all I can do is shudder under her touch.

"You want me again?" She asks, her tone indicating she already knows the answer. She wants me to say it, wants me to beg. I want to beg her, sliding my hands under her shirt to feel her toned body flexing on top of mine.

"Yes."

"Yes what?" Her voice sounds deeper, hoarse with emotion. Her hand is playing at the elastic at the top of my panties, she tugs them up a bit, causing them to sift and move against my throbbing clit.

"I want you again. Please." Her fingers reward my answer by moving lower, playing with me through the thin fabric of my panties. I whimper helplessly, trying to wiggle and grind against her and find the release I long for. Paige regards me, seemingly overcome with lust herself at how turned on I am.

"You are so hot Spencer. I haven't felt like this in so long." She says softly before pulling one bra cup aside to flick her tongue against one of my nipples.

I am rubbing her shoulders and slowly dragging my nails down the side of the body. We make eye contact and she slips my panties to the side and buries three fingers inside me. I can't believe how full I feel at her touch.

She starts a pace, moving in and out and against me. Before long she leans down to kiss me, our tongues tasting one another as she brings me closer and closer to release.

_Paige McCullers. _

Her fingers start curving and the side of my panties starts moving back and forth against my clit. I groan.

"Don't stop Paige." She just laughs softly and keeps going, feeling me start to shake under her. She is intoxicating, this combination of her being so humble in everyday conversation and so confident, nearly cocky in bed. She is more confident than yesterday, skillfully moving in and through me.

A few more thrusts and I come, gently placing my hand on her wrist to signal her to stop pummeling my center, it is weak and sensitive as it throbs repeatedly. She takes the cue and pulls out gently. As I recover I realize she is zipping and buttoning my pants back up. She moves to grab my blouse but I grab her by the collar, holding her against me.

Suddenly I just want her body against mine for the comfort. She shifts against me, moving so I can rest on top of her. I thankfully rest my head in the crook of her neck, nuzzling against her before nodding off.

* * *

I wake up and Paige is gone. It is darker than I remember it being. _Where would she go? _

I get up off the couch and pick up my blouse, pulling it back on over my head. I check my phone and I have one new message. It is from a blocked number, and my stomach instantly twists itself in a hot, electric knot, nearly incapacitating me.

**Blocked number: Didn't you learn who not to fuck yet Spencer? I have a surprise for you. – A **

I walk out the door from the lounge back into the hall. I hear a strange noise from the pool. At first it sounds like cracking. I realize it is ice cracking. The whole room is bathed in a red glow. Because the water is red instead of blue. It is a frozen red color.

"Oh no no no no…" I plead, walking to the edge of the pool as if I am being pulled by a supernatural force. Hanna is in there, hitting the surface of the pool which I realize is covered in thick ice. She is drowning in front of me.

I can see two individuals in hoodies in the far corner, across the pool from me but I can't make out who they are. Except I know with some kind of certainty it's Paige and Alison. Watching the scene unfold.

In the back of my mind, it starts to register I am dreaming. I start trying to shut my eyes then open them to wake myself up…

"Spencer!" I can hear Paige but in my dream I can see her in that black hoodie. Suddenly her and Alison are looking at me and coming over, marching and grinning. Their grins are too wide; unnatural.

"Spencer!" This time Paige is shaking me and I am awake, gasping for air. The real Paige has me folded snugly in her arms and she is looking down at me with nothing but concern.

"Hey…I think you were having a bad dream. I get them too. I've got you, I'm here." She adds. I finally stop squirming and look up at her, cupping either side of her face with my hands to cement that I am awake and she is here. And that terrible aberration of Paige in my dream was just something my shitty dream mind conjured up.

"How long was I out?" I ask.

"At least 30 minutes or so…the dance is probably winding down by now." She adds, stroking my hair. She leans down and kisses me deeply. It is different from our previous kisses. Full of concern and gentle. When she pulls away I am breathing heavier from the emotions she sparked in me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks. I shake my head.

"No…but I think I should go back to the hotel." I stand up, and suddenly this moment feels like too much. Like I have vertigo and cannot get a hold as the ground shifts rapidly below me. Paige jumps up and semi-catches me, helping me regain my balance.

"Let me come with you. I don't want you out alone." She says. I shake my head again.

"I can manage just fine." I respond, breaking away to grab my blouse and pull it over my head. She touches my arm.

"I would never doubt Spencer Hastings ability to manage. But...let me come with you. At the very least I can make sure you get to bed safe and sound, and make an appearance at Tom's party. I was formally invited Friday after all." Damn. I forgot about Tom's party.

"You are persistent Paige. Fine." I say. But suddenly, despite that Stephen King-like nightmare, I am feeling a little lighter. I didn't want to go back to the hotel without her. I just didn't know how to ask her to stay with me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Sorry this is a shorter chapter but I wanted to end the time period of the weekend in one clump before moving on to the next part. Thanks again for the positive reviews and kind words! **

* * *

**Paige's POV**

She's initially quiet on the cab ride to her hotel. Maybe it was being tired or from the dream. Maybe she felt the same sort of vague dissatisfaction I felt at knowing our time together, however bizarre and unexpected, was about to be over. And even though we have formed clusters of support, to connect however briefly with someone who still dwelled in darkness was different. It felt like the type of acceptance I would never get at Stanford. I couldn't begin to tell people like Claire about Lyndon James or Garrett. The panic attacks. Spencer pulls me out of my thoughts when she leans her head against my shoulder after a few moments.

"I don't even know your major Paige." She says as she traces a nonsense doodle on my thigh with one finger. The gesture makes me feel too much. I dry swallow, and she notices and stops doodling but stays curled up next to me.

"American Studies. I think I'm going to go into Law School. At least if I don't end up swimming professionally." Spencer groans and it takes me a moment to realize why.

"No! But like a good lawyer. Or at least I wouldn't marry another lawyer and forced my children into Hunger Games-like competitions." I finish as Spencer smirks.

"That is a relief. You do not want to create another dystopian family unit such as my own." Her voice is raw and grainy from exhaustion.

We pull up to the hotel and I pay before Spencer can try to protest. Once we get out, she gingerly touches my hips.

"Come up to my room with me…spend the night?" She asks. I just nod, taking her hand. I never cared about the party anyway.

We run into Tom as we are scanning ourselves into Spencer's shared room.

"LADIES! The party is in my room!" Tom yells, belligerently drunk yet again. I smile.

"Thanks Tom but we have to get some sleep." I say, winking at him. He nods in a sleazy vouch of approval.

"I got you. Have fun with that…and EACH OTHER." A little too late for that but I don't mind the positive acknowledgement.

We shut the door and realize Spencer's assigned roommates are out. They are probably at Tom's party or another girl's place for the evening. Spencer turns to me and I notice how haggard she looks. I lean my head towards hers and impulsively kiss her. She doesn't reject the kiss, but she doesn't seem happy about it. I try to squelch the irrational pulse of rejection that hits my stomach.

"Paige." She groans in protest. "I don't think we can go again." I quickly shake my head.

"I just wanted to kiss you." She smiles a dry, mild smile. A polite smile that makes me question if kissing her outside of some lust-induced encounter somehow crosses a line.

"Let me freshen up for bed. I probably have some shorts and a shirt I can loan you." I start stripping off my clothes, taking the items she hands me. They are saturated with the same fruity scent of her shampoo and a flowery perfume she wears. When she returns from the washroom, we lay in her double bed. We are turned on our sides, facing one another but not touching.

"So…this weekend" She says trailing off. A flood of nerves hits me again. _Be proactive McCullers._

"I know this was a one-time thing. Or I guess a two-time thing." I add. "I don't want things to get weird. Please don't tell Emily." I'm embarrassed by asking this.

"This isn't something I would advertise." Spencer shoots back. It seems like a fair amount of our conversations are a game of tennis, bouncing comments back and forth with speed and precision. But that one cracked me a little bit. She seems to instantly realize how that sounded for what it is worth.

"No sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Paige…you are a beautiful person." I flush from the compliment. "I just meant I wouldn't want Emily to know either. It doesn't seem like that truth would do any of us any good." _It's better this way._ But thinking about Emily and other people from high school makes me think about Rosewood again. About how that place seems to forever taint my present and future.

"Spencer…do you think that Rosewood will feel like a distant memory? Like eventually the wound has to scab over and heal?"

"It helps to be here with you." Spencer blurts out, seeming to regret it as she searches my eyes. "I mean…it is so different to be with someone who knows. Who lived through it and lives with the ghosts. Some days it is all I can do to get out of bed." She admits. One of her long legs brushes against mine and stays there, our calves connecting us in ways the words aren't.

"I know what you mean." I breathe out softly. After my initial awkwardness, having Spencer around calmed me this weekend. Maybe a little too much if today's practice was any indication. I was never one to show up to practice and not give one-hundred percent. Especially when swimming and physically exerting myself took me away from thinking about Emily and my past.

"So what is up with Emma Stone?"

"The actress? I have checked her IMDb profile recently so I'm not sure." I answer, amused.

"I mean that girl that was obviously into you at that dance." I remember Sarah and roll my eyes.

"She is a gay girl on one of our rival teams. We ran into one another and started chatting."

"It looked like she was definitely interested in more than just chatting with you. And besides…you have the skills to pull off some fun, strings-free sex." Spencer says, looking at me playfully.

"Yeah but…well maybe. I guess she was flirting with me." I don't want one night stands. But I know I shouldn't say that out loud. We fall silent again for a moment.

"What's your major Spencer?" I ask, trying to steer the conversation away from Sarah.

"Chemistry."

"Really? You want to be a teacher?"

"No I actually want to be a chemist."

"For some reason I can see it. You in scientist gear messing with beakers of chemicals." I hadn't realized we didn't touch on this topic before. Nor had we compared any accomplishments for once. Maybe we were both just satisfied with being alive at this point.

We fall into a somewhat comfortable silence. People tend to think silences are black and white. Comfortable or uncomfortable. Really they are shades of gray. It wasn't unbearable to not be talking, but it didn't feel easy. I was still wired from our last encounter.

After some hesitation, I slowly move my hand towards the middle of the bed between us. Spencer's body is a black hole, drawing me in even as I consciously decide I should try to stop touching her now.

Her hand is already waiting for mine, and we link our fingers loosely. She glances up at me, looking vulnerable and scared.

"Thanks for staying here Paige. I…didn't want to say goodbye yet." She finishes. She says it so quietly I can barely hear her. I hadn't wanted to say goodbye to her either.

"My pleasure." I say. Despite my pounding heart I fall asleep faster than I thought I would, after watching Spencer finally nod off.

* * *

**The Next Morning. **

An alarm starts chirping, and Spencer slaps the snooze button, disentangling our hands from one another to do so. I start to stretch and lose my breath unexpectedly. My back and chest muscles are painfully sore from the previous day's practice and subsequent punishment laps for being late. I eventually use my elbows to try and sit up, gasping from the unexpected ache.

"Paige you okay?" Spencer inquires, looking concerned at how my movements have started to resemble an arthritic senior overnight.

"Practice yesterday…coach put me through the wringer for being late. Delayed-onset muscle soreness has finally reared its head. I'll be fine." I grimace. Spencer rolls to her side and gently nudges my shoulders to indicate I should roll over on my stomach.

"Here. Let me give you a massage. I remember how much DOMS can suck from field hockey and tennis."

She straddles the top of my legs and gently presses her hand to my muscles, massaging me. The tension starts to flow away, even as I'm hyperaware how her hands feel kneading my tissue. She occasionally slows her movements, her hands lingered on one particular spot or gently tracing my skin rather than actually massaging it. I know it is probably wishful hoping, but I imagine it is hard for her to touch me so intimately and not get turned on again. Like I am.

She eventually lifts herself and asks me to turn and face up. When she drops down again to straddle my hips, my body seems to automatically lift against hers for a moment. I guess my reaction is the sexual version of the "let's stay and do this" part of the "fight or flight" response. She groans softly.

She starts to rub my upper chest and shoulders. I close my eyes and start to relax as she works to get the blood flowing and the knots broken up. Again, after a few moments her hands stop massaging, just trailing up to my hair to stroke it gently. I open my eyes and we make eye contact.

"Paige…how does that feel?" She asks. Before I can answer she is leaning down towards me. Before her lips make contact with mine, the door to the room suddenly opens with a click and Spencer rolls off me. Her roommates are back, frantically throwing their bags together.

"We got to checkout ASAP Spencer…oh hi. You must be Spencer's new friend." One of the girls says, smirking with a knowing glance.

"Yeah alright." Spencer says, glancing at me apologetically before beginning to pack her stuff as well. My heart feels so much heavier than it should, knowing she is about to leave. I should be ready to gloat, having just "scored" with one of the hot girls from high school. Instead the whole thing feels empty.

After I manage to change and everyone is packed, I escort them to their bus. The sun is bright and hot, making it feel additionally awkward to be shuffling around outside, trying to think of the right goodbye for your ex's best friend that you slept with twice.

"So…" We both say at the same time.

"I had a great weekend here. With you." Spencer adds, cupping her hands over her eyes to shield them from the sun.

"Me too. Thank you." I say, immediately kicking myself for sounding like she just passed me salt and pepper at a dinner table.

"I'm sure we will see each other again in Rosewood. Over the summer." Spencer clarifies, seemingly relieved at having said the right thing at the right moment.

"Oh fuck it." I mutter before summoning up the courage to grab her hard and kiss her again, making her drop her duffle bag drop off her shoulder as I dip her. She wraps her arms around my neck, moaning in my mouth as we deepen the kiss for a bit. I can hear people clapping on the bus and smile against her mouth. After a beat she pulls away, but she is smiling.

"What was that for McCullers?"

"Didn't know if I would ever get the chance again." I say, shrugging. _Yeah Kanye shrug that shit, which was awesome_. I roll my eyes, thinking Claire's slang must have finally seeped into my head and tainted even my own inner voice.

"Call me sometime?" She finally says before walking onto the bus. I walk away, starting the trek back to my apartment. My mind is shooting thoughts around so frantically I can't seem to focus on any single one.

_I don't want to get hurt again. Sleeping with Spencer Hastings has all sorts of self-destructive issues written all over it. I don't want to be this person. _

But when Spencer lets herself go, whether it's in my arms or from a few drinks, she is so different than the tightly strung girl I barely knew in high school. Her past is a mine field. Just like mine. But I don't want to get hurt again.

_You had sex with Spencer frickin' Hastings._

_It was good._

_You probably won't see her again. _

_Who calls each other anymore anyway? Except for close friends. _

Once that thought clicked I knew what to do. I dialed my phone and crossed my fingers he could be able to answer. I didn't have many friends from Rosewood but one had remained steadfast post "Ali is alive" Watergate.

"Hey Paige how's it going" Caleb answers as a greeting.

"Dude…I have to tell you something." I quickly say, overcome with the need to tell someone who knew Spencer from then.

"Is everything okay?"

"Hmm…that is a tough question. Is having slept with Spencer Hastings okay?" I softly ask.

"WHAT!?" He yells into the phone. Then I hear the sound of rushing air and a thud. After a moment of static he apologizes for having dropped the phone.

"How did this happen? You aren't in New York are you?" He asks, probably ready to be upset if I visited without telling him. Hanna had also gone to New York City after high school to pursue a career in fashion, and Caleb followed. Despite living in a tiny studio apartment they could barely afford, they were happy beyond reason.

I launch into the entire story, explaining about how good it felt to have Spencer here, how unexpectedly hot hooking up was. Well it wasn't surprising, Spencer was beautiful. But what did surprise me was how we clicked together so quickly. She was still Spencer, but college and life away from A and our families had softened our rougher edges, even if some things haunted us.

"I just needed to tell someone who knew both of us. Maybe to make myself feel better."

"You feel guilty over this? You aren't a bad person for having fun every now and then Paige." Caleb seems to read my mind with his insight.

"I mean I realize it seems screwed up, Spencer being one of Emily's oldest friends. But Emily wasn't that kind to you towards the end, even though you did the right thing." That was one of the rare things Caleb disagreed with Hanna about. Hanna was civil enough to me, but I could tell her and Aria had agreed with Emily's belief that what I did was an unforgivable betrayal of her trust.

"Thanks Caleb. That means a lot." My voice cracks with emotion a bit.

"It's weird. I should feel awesome about hooking up with her. Like a big shot. But instead I'm just sad she is gone. She isn't like how she used to be, quick-tempered and judgmental." I feel like I am rambling as I try not to tear up. I feel like a sensitive child.

"It isn't easy for any of us to connect with anyone. Maybe you guys could try being friends? Long distance friendship can work, look at us." His words calm me a bit.

"Good point." I say.

"So how are things going in the big city with Hanna?" I ask to change the subject while my mind halfheartedly listens, wandering to the way kissing Spencer that last time had felt.

* * *

Even after agreeing with Caleb earlier, I probably wouldn't try to contact Spencer again. What could I say besides exchange pleasantries about her flight back? I walk to my bed and unceremoniously flop down on it, face first. I can still smell the scent of Spencer on my sheets, mingled with chlorine and sun block. I hug my pillow, thinking about how I should be doing homework to prep for my return to a structured, strict reality tomorrow. Swimming. Academics. Trying to squeeze in a social life.

I open my eyes, intent on making some coffee and lunch before I tackle my homework. I notice a bit of red fabric tucked under one of the pillows on my bed. I realized it is Spencer's scarf. The one she wore Friday night. The one I had left on her as we had sex.

I guess I could message her and just let her know she had left her scarf here. That would be that. I wouldn't bother her again. I didn't have time to keep devoting to Spencer Hastings anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bits and Pieces**

**Facebook Chat. February 26****th****. Third person POV. **

**Paige McCullers:** Hey…I believe you left your red scarf at my apartment.

**Spencer Hastings:** Oh. Just keep it. I mean till you see me next. Over the summer?

**Paige McCullers:** Okay.

Paige tried to think of some way to keep the conversation going. Like Caleb said, maybe she could be friends with Spencer. And process exactly what she felt about this last weekend.

**Paige McCullers:** Thanks for that massage. It really helped break some tension up.

Spencer thought the massage just made the sexual tension more palatable. She also didn't know how to begin to thank Paige for the weekend, or sort through the bizarre mix of feelings she had about the ordeal. How Paige had somehow become an escape and a safety net for the weekend.

**Spencer Hastings:** No problem. Glad I could help. Thanks for everything…

Thanks for which part? Paige thought.

**Paige McCullers: **How was your trip back to New York? How are your roommates?

**Spencer Hastings:** The trip was relatively painless. Tom spent a lot of the time regaling me with his escapades.

Spencer could hear Blaine break into another duo with Kurt as Rachel told Artie and Sam about _Funny Girl_ and how Santana had skipped town to go on a lesbian dreamcation with her ex-girlfriend, leaving Spencer alone with the rest of the singers.

Without Santana here and with Hanna so busy on the other side of the city with her internship, Spencer was relieved to hear from Paige. She hoped Paige would keep talking to her. She couldn't just revert to SOSing Hanna just because she didn't have anyone to vent to.

**Spencer Hastings:** As far as roommates…do you have some time and a bowl of popcorn? You might want some alcohol too.

Paige laughed to herself before answering.

**Paige McCullers:** Alright I'll be back. Getting some popcorn and a beer.

Paige went to the kitchen and made herself some popcorn while cracking open a Guinness. Spencer's stories about her roommates from Ohio had been one of her favorite conversation topics over the weekend. Paige appreciated some karaoke as much as the next person, but these people sounded like some real-time episode of _Behind the Music_.

**Paige McCullers:** Alright back. Let's hear it.

**Spencer Hastings:** It is TERRIBLE. THEY HAVE MOVED HALF THEIR HIGH SCHOOL GLEE CLUB INTO THIS APARTMENT. Santana has skipped the country with her ex-girlfriend, leaving us to awkwardly deal with Dani.

**Paige McCullers:** Who's Dani?

**Spencer Hastings:** She was Santana's rebound and girlfriend for about two seconds before she got back together with her ex.

**Spencer Hastings:** I feel like she was supposed to be a bigger deal…but I only saw her a couple times.

**Paige McCullers:** Sorry to hear about the Glee Club moving in and Santana being gone. You okay?

Spencer pondered this. She hoped it had been clear Santana had just been something physical, and then became a good friend. Even though Santana would participate in the group's random musical numbers, she also was the first to make fun of them.

**Spencer Hastings:** It sucks. Santana was my only ally in the house when the other two won't stop singing how they feel. But I'm happy for her. We all deserve a chance to be happy.

**Paige McCullers:** That is how it is supposed to work anyway.

Spencer tried to summarize the epic saga of bromance, showmance and plain old romance occurring in her living space, courtesy of her roommates. In between reading what Spencer wrote, Paige would study for class.

**Spencer Hastings: **They just finished a number from _Rent_. They are clapping and crying for themselves, bouncing like toddlers in the next room.

Paige laughed, imagining the shit face Spencer must have right now.

**Spencer Hastings: **They are acting like Hanna and Emily when you give them too much sugar. Or alcohol. Or feed them after midnight when they are supposed to be asleep.

* * *

**Facebook Chat. March 3rd. Third person POV. **

**Paige McCullers:** How's school?

**Spencer Hastings:** Rough but that is probably a good thing for me. It's nice to not compete with Melissa for everything or spend every evening discussing the day's successes and failures.

**Paige McCullers:** I find it hard to believe you had many failures. You are Spencer Hastings. You can do or have whatever you want.

**Spencer Hastings:** Ha! You don't give my faults nearly enough credit. I was admitted to Radley after all.

**Spencer Hastings:** And addicted to speed.

**Spencer Hastings:** And I nearly stole two of Melissa's boyfriends.

**Paige McCullers:** Well don't build yourself up too much…

Spencer also thought about how she screwed up her relationship with Toby. The person she should still be with. Her rock. But she didn't want to upset Paige by bringing him up. Then again it shouldn't bother Paige. Her and Paige had just hooked up twice. A brief, sweet escape.

**Spencer Hastings:** And I messed things up with Toby. That is one of the worst parts.

Paige felt an ugly twist in her stomach, and immediately shook her head, irritated with herself. _What the fuck did you think happened over that weekend? It was a fling. For both of us. _

**Paige McCullers:** I'm sorry.

**Spencer Hastings:** You have no reason to be.

**Spencer Hastings:** I like talking to you.

The knot in Paige's stomach unwound a little bit at that last statement.

They continued to write back and forth till Paige noticed how late it was and how heavy her eyelids were.

**Paige McCullers:** I should go. Practice tomorrow morning. Are you turning in soon?

**Spencer Hastings**: In a bit. Good night Paige. Talk to you later.

**Paige McCullers:** Goodnight Spencer.

Paige discovered another trick for sleeping at night and chasing the demons away: talking to Spencer Hastings till all hours.

* * *

**Facebook Chat. March 10th. Third person POV. **

**Spencer Hastings:** NO!

**Paige McCullers:** Spencer I got into Stanford. It isn't my fault you assumed you would win at Words with Friends.

**Spencer Hastings:** I'm convinced you cheated.

**Paige McCullers:** If that is what you need to sleep at night.

Spencer almost slipped and said something about how their conversations is what helped her calm down enough to sleep at night.

**Spencer Hastings:** Rematch?

* * *

**Facebook Chat. March 16th. Third person POV. **

**Paige McCullers:** Remember Mag? In field hockey?

**Spencer Hastings:** Okay I feel like that is just shooting fish in a barrel. I mean even I'm sorta gay now. On field hockey it was probably the exception to the norm to be straight.

**Paige McCullers:** So was swimming if you look at our school's track record.

**Paige McCullers:** Anyway, Mag was also one of the few that didn't gang up on me with the nicknames. Pitbull, Pigskin, just plain old Pig…

Spencer flushed from embarrassment. Paige was a lot to handle at that point, but she was none of those things now. She hated that they had pushed Paige to lash out as a form of defense. She and Paige had gotten into the habit of chatting online nearly every night, at least for a little bit. It helped Spencer cope with Santana's absence. But it also helped Spencer see how fully-rounded a person Paige actually was.

**Spencer Hastings:** You are none of those things. In fact you are one of the gentlest people I have met…when you aren't in a sporting event.

Spencer flushed again, now imagining Paige's hands rubbing up and down her body, the way Paige's muscles had felt firm against her skin. The way Paige would look at her, almost constantly in awe and evaluating if she was okay with what was happening.

**Paige McCullers:** Or Words with Friends.

**Spencer Hastings:** Is that a challenge McCullers?

**Paige McCullers:** Let's do this thing.

* * *

**Texts. March 17th. Third person POV. **

**Spencer Hastings: **Caleb says hi. I'm sure Hanna does too but she is busy doing Irish Car Bombs at this party we are at.

**Paige McCullers:** I bet. Tell them I say hi too. Wish I was there with you guys

**Spencer Hastings:** Why aren't you?

**Paige McCullers:** …still in California

**Spencer Hastings:** Sorry. Text was for someone else;

**Spencer Hastings:** But end willing nd?

Paige laughed.

**Paige McCullers:** Wrong person again?

**Paige McCullers:** So much for keeping track of your blood alcohol. Be safe.

**Spencer Hastings:** If you were here you could keep me safe ;-)

Paige stomach suddenly flushed with a nearly uncomfortable flood of warmth. She felt like the pint glass for a Car Bomb; that a shot glass had been dropped into the pit of her stomach, sloshing around and making a mess. Which is what feelings like these did to her.

She could barely concentrate on anything but when she would talk to Spencer Hastings next. Thoughts of Spencer's hands on her came suddenly and unwarranted before she was about to dive in a swim meet. She couldn't afford to be that off her game during the final week of competition.

And she had no idea how to react to Spencer's comment. It was clearly flirtatious. But Spencer was probably drunk.

**Paige McCullers: **Haha what?

Hanna took Spencer's phone.

"Spencer KNOCK it off! You are paying more attention to this phone than to Saint Patrick's Day fun. Time for another Irish Car Bomb!" Hanna grabbed Spencer's hand and led her to the kitchen's bar.

After a few moments Paige tried to analyze what Spencer had meant, then tried to just stop worrying about it. It was probably nothing. Or sent to her by mistake.

**Paige McCullers:** Caleb you are with Spencer and Hanna right? Make sure Spencer is okay.

**Caleb Rivers:** What about Hanna's safety?

**Paige McCullers:** Please. I don't want to call her and be that girl. Just make sure she doesn't make terrible decisions. For me. For #teamcaige.

**Caleb Rivers:** I will. #teamcaige.

Caleb didn't tell her that Spencer was currently wrapped around some girl named Dani on the couch. They weren't making out or anything, but Spencer didn't seem like she would mind if they did. She was laughing loudly at the girl's comments, and there was a dangerously happy, amused glint in Spencer's eyes.

* * *

**Texts. March 18th. Third person POV. **

**Paige McCullers:** Hey you okay? Seemed like you were going pretty hard yesterday from your texts.

Paige wouldn't mention having texted Caleb to make sure Spencer made it home okay. If she didn't have Caleb's word, she would have been much more worried.

**Spencer Hastings:** Yeah…sorry about the texts and stuff. Hanna can be a bad influence when she sets her mind to it.

**Paige McCullers:** Glad you had a good time. Made me miss you guys and the fun times. Especially with the not being stalked by a maniac anymore.

Spencer's heart fluttered a split second at realizing Paige missed her in-person company. She realized she missed Paige too. She was becoming used to ending her days with Paige, exhausted but actually excited to start the next day. Seeing Paige in person after the shift in their intimacy sounded like curling up with a blanket and a favorite movie. It also made her nervous. Paige was someone she could talk to, but not someone she should get attached to. Not to mention the terrible decisions she had made yesterday with Dani.

**Spencer Hastings:** Maybe you could visit New York? I mean we are friends now.

**Paige McCullers: **...maybe once the season ends.

Paige wanted to see Spencer again. She just didn't want to admit how much she wanted to see her. Or what she hoped would happen.

**Paige McCullers:** It is kind of nice talking to you online. Because you cannot give me to Spencer look.

**Spencer Hastings:** I don't have a look!

**Spencer Hastings:** Why does everyone keep saying that?

**Paige McCullers**: You have a look. It is the same one you would give when the other team scored a point in field hockey.

**Paige McCullers:** The best way I can describe the Spencer Hastings look? It is like smizing but instead of smiling you are looking judgmental. Jizing with your eyes.

Spencer started laughing before she responded.

**Spencer Hastings:** That's ridiculous. You just wrote I jizz with my eyes.

Paige started laughing before she responded.

**Paige McCullers:** No! It is pronounced like JIGH-zing with your eyes, like judgmental. Don't change the subject.

Paige started thinking about all the nights she had spent talking to Spencer. How it made her laugh, made her happier all through her day. How even thought they were just friends, she would hate to see Spencer's gorgeous lips kissing someone else, see her lean body wrapped around someone else's. Maybe this friendship could stay the way it was if Spencer never mentioned someone else. Paige hoped that she wouldn't.

* * *

**Same day. Spencer's POV.**

I feel guilty about kissing Dani at that stupid Saint Patrick's Day party. For multiple reasons.

Hanna thinks I feel bad because I still love Toby and just won't admit it. Part of me does still love him and what he represented in my screwed-up life. But that isn't it. I keep thinking about Santana and how mad she would be if she knew. Even though she had abandoned Dani to get together with her ex.

I also feel guilty not telling Paige, which should be wrong. We are just friends. But I knew it would cause trouble. Maybe I'm just attracted to secretive trouble. Ian. Wren. Alex. Paige. Dani. _Take me back to your place Paige_. Maybe that is where this was coming from with Paige. Maybe I just liked that it was wrong.

I'm not good at lying to myself.

* * *

**Texts. March 24****th****.** **Third person POV. **

**Paige McCullers: **Over. 2nd place :-/

**Paige McCullers:** Not from lack of trying on my part thought. Next year when I'm captain things will be different.

Spencer was the first person Paige had thought about texting about regionals, especially since her parents had come to California to cheer her on.

**Spencer Hastings: **Paige that is amazing. You will be a great captain. Just keep your grades up.

**Paige McCullers:** If I need any trig coaching, you are my first go-to person.

**Paige McCullers:** Talk to you tonight? After dinner with my parents and celebrating the semi-victory with Claire?

**Spencer Hastings:** I'll be here waiting.

Paige's heart skipped a beat.

* * *

**Same day. Paige's POV**

"PAIGE! You are the most confident, badass swimmer. Are girls really that hard for you?" Claire asked incredulously, handing me a pint of beer. We were at the Old Pro with the rest of the team, after my parents went back to their hotel.

I took a sip of the beer. It felt fresh, cold and delicious after the meet today.

"It's different. Swimming is this clear cut thing. I know exactly what I need to do, and it is the simple fact of whether I execute it or not. Dating girls is complicated. Full of land mines." Claire touched my elbow.

"Your feelings for Spencer are clear cut. Just tell her."

"I don't even know if they are feelings! Yeah she is hot. Yeah I had a bit of a crush on her already. And we talk all the time now. But that is dumb. She is one of Emily's best friends. I feel like I am just chasing a different Emily. And you saw the aftermath of the first one. No thanks." I was lucky Claire had been so understanding when she first met me.

"So stop chasing her. Just let her know. Then you can figure out what to do." Claire took a sip of her drink. Then she sort of stared straight ahead, not looking at me but instead at someone walking in. I turned and saw Emma Stone aka Sarah waltz in with her team. They were still wearing their metals.

"Those bitches." Claire hissed. Sarah saw me and smiled, starting to walk towards us.

"Hey Paige. And Claire. Great game." She said, her southern drawl endearing. Even though she addressed both of us, she was looking at me as she said it.

"Thank you. Congratulations again on winning." Sarah ordered a round of shots and some beers. I was surprised when she handed a shot glass to me.

"What's this for?"

"For being my main competition and motivation out there. And looking incredibly hot while doing it." Sarah said, winking at me. I cracked a smile back, blushing.

"You are welcome Sarah! Now where's my shot?" Claire said as innocently as she could manage, though I could still hear the simmering dislike in her voice. For someone that could be such a people person, Claire was an incredibly sore loser. Sarah reluctantly handed her one of the tiny glasses. Once she rallied her teammates we all took it together.

"Well thanks for the compliments. And the drink." I said afterwards, unsure of how to proceed. Luckily Sarah was older and seemed to be a little more suave at small talk and flirting.

"What are you doing the rest of the night tonight?" She asked, taking a sip from her drink but not breaking eye contact with me.

"Probably chatting with her GIRLFRIEND in New York." Claire interjected. _Fucking Claire._ It was kind of worth it to see Sarah's confident gaze twist into a look of surprise.

"Forgive her. She has not been housetrained. I don't have a girlfriend in New York. I have a friend who is a girl in New York. To clarify."

"This wouldn't be that tall brunette that stole you away from me at the conference dance?" Sarah asked, resuming her confident flirtation like it was a game she just unpaused.

"Uh…yes. Spencer. That was her."

"She's hot. A little temperamental but sometimes that can be hot as well." Sarah added.

"She isn't always…I mean she was upset that night because she thought I was trying to ditch her. A stupid misunderstanding." _That led to some incredibly hot sex in the varsity lounge_. If it had been that hot over a missed text, imagine what make up sex with Spencer would be like after a real blow out…I shook my head and tried to pay attention to what Sarah was saying.

"So you are single right?" Sarah asked to clarify.

"Yes. I am." I answered honestly. Claire rolled her eyes and mumbled something in my ear about leaving me alone with my own bad decisions.

* * *

Sarah and Shana both started with S's and contained five characters. There is something richly poetic about that. I thought about the odd parallels as Sarah and I made out in one of the cleaner bathroom stalls in the Old Pro, grinning and laughing when we would come up for air.

I wasn't sure how I got here. Sarah had flirtatiously asked if all those songs about unforgettable California girls were true, and asked if she could test the theory with me. Her team was from Georgia. I had explained I wasn't actually from California but she didn't seem to care.

"So do you still have that online date or can I take you home?" Sarah inquired, running her hands along my shoulders and waist. Making out had been great, but something told me sex with Sarah would be fun but counterproductive to my growing feelings for Spencer. Kissing Sarah had only made my feelings more apparent. Maybe it was yet another symptom of PTSD or a lingering high school fantasy, but Spencer was who I really wanted. Or I wanted someone who excited me the way she did. Who wasn't living across the country.

"I still have an online date. But I am incredibly flattered." I said, giving her a peck to indicate while this was a fun little make out session it was also over.

"Darn." She said playfully, snapping her fingers for emphasis.

* * *

**Facebook chat. That Night.** **Third person POV. **

**Paige McCullers:** Hey

**Spencer Hastings:** Hey! Late night partying huh?

**Paige McCullers:** Yeah a little bit.

**Paige McCullers:** Didn't we discuss me visiting you? Maybe since the season is finally over…

Paige tried not to hold her breath as she waited for Spencer's answer.

**Spencer Hastings:** I would love to have you visit. But I'm super busy right now with school and work. Plus I might be starting an internship.

Paige tried to backtrack to negate how excited she felt, imagining seeing Spencer again. _Change the subject_ she thought.

**Paige McCullers:** Totally understandable. Whenever you have time.

**Paige McCullers:** So I am usually a big fan of donuts but have you heard of these cronuts?

**Spencer Hastings:** OMG YES.

Spencer didn't even think about mentioning Toby.

**Paige McCullers:** Okay so are they good? I really need to live up my brief window of opportunity to fully indulge in junk food. Or at least sweets.

**Spencer Hastings:** They are an acceptable indulgence. A worthwhile endeavor if you will.

* * *

**Facebook chat. April 7th. Third person POV. **

**Paige McCullers:** You still there?

**Spencer Hastings**: Yeah didn't you go to sleep a bit ago?

**Paige McCullers:** I did but I had terrible nightmares again.

**Spencer Hastings:** Want to talk about what happened in them?

Paige didn't. She didn't want to tell Spencer it was another one where Emily had been murdered in front of her, blood sticking to the ground and Alison's hands. She didn't want to admit that earlier in the dream it was a happier time when she was still with Emily. She didn't want to admit that dreaming about Emily made her ache for Spencer instead once she woke up.

**Paige McCullers:** No sorry. Hurts too much. Just…

_Whatever. What have I got to lose?_ Paige thought to herself. She was tired and not thinking clearly.

**Paige McCullers:** Just wish you were here in this room with me.

Claire had soothed her so many times. But she wanted Spencer's arms around her. It was a moment of weakness and she didn't want to hide how much she wanted Spencer.

**Spencer Hastings:** *hugs you against me* Sorry I'm not.

**Paige McCullers:** I thought you hated typing actions in chat.

**Spencer Hastings:** I usually do.

_But not when it is late at night and you need me. And I want to be that person for you_ Spencer thought.

**Spencer Hastings:** Paige…I miss you. I really wish I was there.

Paige gasped, tears nearly threatening to spill out. She shook her head at how pathetic it was, choking up at Spencer's words. It was so pathetic to care so much for such a bad person for her. Emily's close friend. Who lives in New York. Instead of stopping she took another step down the terrifying path towards the truth.

**Paige McCullers:** Spencer...there's something here isn't there?

Paige could tell from the chat indicator Spencer kept typing, stopping, erasing and retyping her answer. Finally once Paige was nearly dizzy with regret for having suggested something:

**Spencer Hastings:** I don't know.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sorry about not getting to this sooner! Past month has felt like a conspiracy to keep me from writing. Again it is so flattering to read the kind things people have said about this story. Thank you. **

**This chapter is a tad more Glee-heavy so I apologize if any of the references don't make sense. For what it is worth, finding some brief clips of "Fondue for Two" will help clarify that scene. **

* * *

**Facebook chat. April 7th. Third person POV. **

**Spencer Hastings: **I don't know.

Paige's breathing hitched for a second. _I'm not just imagining this. This pull._ Paige didn't want to be the sort of girl who pines again. She had loved Emily for so long. She didn't want to be the same person in the same situation with Spencer.

**Paige McCullers:** What do we do?

**Spencer Hastings:** Regardless of how we feel our situation hasn't changed. We can't…I can't…

Paige knew it would be better to just agree, even though she wanted to pull apart and analyze all her feelings towards the other girl.

**Paige McCullers:** I know…I wish things were different though.

**Paige McCullers: **I want you again.

Spencer forgot to breathe for a second. She wanted Paige too. She had tried to forgot about her weekend with the other girl, but their new rapidly developing friendship only made her think of Paige more. She supposed she must have always found Paige a little attractive, with her athletic build and competitive edge. With her sincere brown eyes.

**Spencer Hastings:** I know. I want you too.

**Spencer Hastings: **Will you be back home for the summer?

**Paige McCullers:** Yes

**Paige McCullers:** I'll be back mid-June.

**Spencer Hastings:** June! That is a month after mine.

**Paige McCullers:** Stanford goes by quarters.

**Spencer Hastings:** That is the worst news I have heard all day.

Paige's stomach fluttered again. Spencer wanted to see her. She was upset she wouldn't see her sooner.

**Paige McCullers:** I can't wait to see you again either.

* * *

**Facebook chat. April 8th. Third person POV. **

**Spencer Hastings: **…so there's something I've always wanted to try. In bed.

**Paige McCullers:** …well hi to you too

Spencer didn't write back for a few moments that felt like minutes.

**Paige McCullers: **What do you want to do?

**Spencer Hastings:** Do you have a strap-on?

**Paige McCullers:** No…

**Spencer Hastings:** Oh

Spencer immediately felt a flush of relief. She didn't want to think about Paige and Emily together like that. Or together at all. But she did like the idea of trying something that was new for the both of them.

**Paige McCullers:** But I could get one. If that's what you want.

Spencer did want it. But she didn't want Paige to get it just for her.

**Spencer Hastings:** Oh no I wouldn't want you to buy one just for me. It was just a thought.

**Paige McCullers:** So you have been thinking of me like that?

**Spencer Hastings:** I thought that was obvious. I mean

**Spencer Hastings:** You are hot. It was hot hooking up.

Paige shifted in her seat, biting back a moan. This was going to be a long end of the semester.

* * *

**Same Night. Paige's POV**

"Come on Paige. Karaoke at the Old Pro! You love karaoke!" Claire called from her room into mine. One of the few advantages of paper thin walls was the ability to easily hear one another when we wanted to talk without moving.

I tried to ignore her while simultaneously trying to figure out what to say to Spencer. And trying to get a grip on how it was all making me feel. I jumped at dull but loud thump against my door.

"STOP throwing things at my door. I'll come." I yelled.

**Paige McCullers:** I would love for you to continue this train of thought…but I just agreed to go sing karaoke with Claire.

**Paige McCullers:** I promise it won't be Journey or show tunes.

**Spencer Hastings:** Well that is a relief. Have fun.

* * *

**Same Night. Spencer's POV**

I am so foolish. I was basically throwing myself at Paige McCullers and she would rather go drink and sing just like one of my roommates.

She is Emily's ex-girlfriend. I had started so many texts to Emily trying to explain what had happened. What was apparently still happening? It could have_, should have_ been a one or two night stand. But with talking every night, I had gotten to know Paige so well.

_Hey Em we need to talk…like old school on the phone talk…_

_Funny story! I got tipsy and had sex with Paige! Yes that Paige! Isn't that funny and not the least but upsetting or awkward? _

_You broke up with Paige right? You wouldn't care if we hooked up every now and then?_

None of that seemed appropriate. I could only imagine how upset Aria or Hanna would be if I slept with Ezra or Caleb respectively. Hanna even more so considering she was still dating Caleb. But I didn't want either of them. Something had sparked between Paige and I and now even though I should let it go I wanted more.

* * *

**Same Night. Paige's POV**

I grab the mic and clear my throat before launching in. I had to do something to try and clear my head about Spencer. Well sorta. The song I chose isn't going to help get her off my mind. I hear Claire woot at the start of the song.

_All I am is a man_

_I want the world in my hands_

_I hate the beach_

_But I stand_

_In California with my toes in the sand_

_Use the sleeves of my sweater_

_Let's have an adventure_

_Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered_

_Touch my neck and I'll touch yours_

_You in those little high-waisted shorts, oh_

_She knows what I think about_

_And what I think about_

_One love, two mouths_

_One love, one house_

_No shirt, no blouse_

_Just us, you find out_

_Nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no_

I got a modest amount of applause before returning to our table. Emily and Tara were there too. I always made it a point to call Emily by her full name. Em was only reserved for one person that I tried to forget about as much as possible.

"Wow. Are you retiring emo Pink and Tegan & Sara songs? This is a huge character development." Claire stated, looking at me in mock-shock.

"I could never retire my Pink covers, emo or otherwise. Just a slight change of pace for the mood I'm in." I offered, taking a swallow of the beer in front of me.

"So she asked you to buy a strap-on?" Claire asked, glancing up to make sure she had embarrassed me by bring it up in front of Emily and Tara. I could feel my skin flush, my cheeks turning rosy.

"Damnit Claire. But yes she did. Well she said it would be hot to use one."

"Those can be expensive. But we can brave the sex store with you Paige." Tara said, tapping my hand gently.

"I like…" I took another big gulp of my beer, finishing the last of the pint. Claire wordlessly poured me more from out pitcher, gesturing for me to continue. "I mean…I'm not even sure how big it should be." Claire rolled her eyes, exasperated.

"Do you guys just constantly forget I'm actually straight? I know about what a good size should be. Don't be so dense, I can help with this too." I flushed again.

"Thanks guys. New subject please." I pleaded.

"Did you tell her how you actually feel?" Claire asked. I rolled my eyes.

"That is the same topic."

"No it is not. First we were talking about your sex life. Now we are talking about your romantic life. They are not always the same thing, as in this case." Claire clarified smugly.

"Not exactly. I'll figure that part out later. Right now I just want to enjoy what is actually happening."

"Just don't get hurt. We all want you to be happy."

* * *

**Facebook chat. April 12th. Third person POV.**

**Spencer Hastings:** At this point, it is the exception to the norm when they aren't just dating their exes from high school again. They just had this random outbreak where they all decided to reunite, including Sam and Mercedes.

**Paige McCullers:** Wait which one is Mercedes?

**Spencer Hastings:** Don't even ask. You don't want to get sucked into this musical afterschool special that has become my life.

**Paige McCullers:** I think that is an accurate statement.

**Spencer Hastings:** WAIT BRB

Paige wondered about the sudden use of caps lock, which was unlike Spencer. She also hoped it wouldn't be too weird that she had braved the sex store with Claire and bought the strap on. It was still a lot to take in. Em and her had been so new at the physical stuff, they had never gotten into introducing toys are doing much beyond the basics. It was so different with Spencer, who seemed worlds more experienced and forthright with what she wanted. Maybe that stemmed from her situation with-

**Spencer Hastings:** Santana is back! I have to go but talk soon okay?

Paige felt a pang of jealousy she instantly regretted. Spencer didn't even stay on long enough her to say bye.

* * *

**Same Night. Spencer's POV.**

"Santana!" I exclaimed, jogging up to hug her tight against me. I noticed a blonde girl right behind her, watching us with a vague look of understanding.

"Is this Spencer or did Rachel actually get hot?" She asked. Then she waited for an answer.

"SERIOUSLY. YOU ARE JUST AS BAD AS SANTANA." Rachel barked from her room.

"Nice to see you again." Santana whispered in my ear before quickly kissing the side of it and my cheek as she pulled away. "Spencer this is Brittany." I held out my hand to shake, Brittany took it and looked me straight in the eyes.

"We should have fondue."

* * *

**Same Night. Third Person POV.**

_Fondue for two (Hey!)_

_Fondue for two (Yes!)_

_That's some hot dish!_

_Fondue for two!_

Spencer looks nervously from Brittany to Santana to the melted pot of cheese, hoping for something to provide clarification on what is happening.

"Welcome back to another edition of Brittany S. Pierce's _Fondue for Two_…"

"Is that cat filming this?" Spencer asked in a hushed tone. The cat glared at her so she dropped the subject.

"So today's guest is the hottest girl ever slash my new girlfriend again Santana Lopez. As well as Spencer Hastings whose biggest claim to fame is sleeping with Santana when I wasn't around." Spencer looks too surprised to even be angry.

"Spencer now that I'm back I'm sure you understand that sleeping with Santana is off-limits."

"Is that a question or a statement? Either way Santana and I are just friends now." Spencer murmured, glancing quickly at Santana. She hoped the other girl would provide some insight as to what was going on and Brittany's behavior, but Santana seemed to look at Brittany with nothing but love and admiration.

"Does that mean you have someone else to deal with your lady bit urges? LORD TUBINGTON NO!" Brittany barked at the cat, who was somehow trying to lit fireworks near Rachel's door.

"Uh…I guess there is someone that is helping me with…how did your cat even get access to fireworks? And how on earth would he know how to light them?" Spencer sputtered. Santana was looking at her, jaw dropped open in shock.

"You hooked up with that girl from Rosewood? Your best friend's ex-girlfriend?" Now Brittany looked positively gleeful with this new drama that had just been unearthed.

"Santana!" Spencer scoffed, before cracking a small grin and nodding meekly.

"How was it? Are you going to see her again?" Santana asked.

"It was good. I think so?" Brittany turned to the camera after Spencer finished answering the question.

"That was definitely one of the best _Fondue for Two_'s in recent memory."

* * *

**Facebook chat. April 15th. Third person POV.**

**Spencer Hastings:** So what do you do with your time now that the swim season is over?

**Paige McCullers:** Pretty much drink.

Spencer rolled her eyes.

**Paige McCullers:** And talk to you.

_And think about you._ Paige thought to herself.

* * *

**April 26th. Spencer's POV.**

I was exhausted from my shift at the diner, ready to talk to Paige online for a bit before passing out and attempting to go to class early the next morning. It was times like this my mind would flicker back to the drugs. How they kept my awake and alert through all the stress and challenges in high school. No more of that easy way out.

As I slid the loft door back in place, I turned and nearly gasped in shock. It wasn't like they were doing anything to startle me, but I hadn't expected anyone to be awake and up in the loft. Yet there Kurt and Rachel were. They were sitting silently in the dark, quiet night. As my eyes adjusted, I noticed the back of their heads amidst the layers of strange shadow the moonlight created.

When you live with talkative singers you get used to almost always hearing noise. Even when they weren't making it with their mouths, they would be playing music or dancing or clanging together pots and pans for group dinners. But now they were so quiet and still. I would be concerned, but I figured both of them didn't suddenly die sitting upright next to one another.

"Hey guys." I said softly, walking towards them. They didn't turn. Standing right behind the couch I finally noticed it. They were looking at a picture of Finn and some letters he had written them while he had been in the army for his extremely short-lived stint. They were softly crying.

I felt my heart crack, like one of my ribs had punctured it. Toby had just left me. He hadn't died. I couldn't imagine what Rachel and Kurt were going through. I didn't want to ever even have to imagine losing someone I care about again.

I retreated to my tiny bedroom and logged in.

* * *

**Facebook chat. April 26th. Third person POV.**

**Paige McCullers:** Hey you are on late. How was the diner?

**Spencer Hastings:** Very tiring.

**Spencer Hastings:** Promise me something?

**Paige McCullers:** What?

Spencer sighed, not sure how to write what she needed to. She decided to be direct.

**Spencer Hastings:** That you know we are just hooking up.

**Spencer Hastings:** That you will never fall in love with me.

Paige felt like an icy fist had just punched her in the chest. She felt some strange combination of hurt and angry and didn't know which was more appropriate.

**Paige McCullers:** Where is this coming from?

**Spencer Hastings:** I just don't want to hurt you or give you the wrong idea.

_Or most importantly, get hurt myself _Spencer thought. Spencer didn't want another Toby. It aggravated her that by talking so much and so often to Paige she had entertained the notion that something more could be between them. Things broke no matter what.

**Paige McCullers:** Okay.

Spencer knew from the period Paige tacked on that she shouldn't talk about this again, and that it was definitely not okay by Paige.

**Spencer Hastings:** I'm going to get to bed I'm exhausted.

**Paige McCullers:** Good night.

Paige logged off before Spencer could say goodnight back.

* * *

**April 27th. Paige's POV.**

"I don't know. She just froze me out. It was really sudden." I told Claire, relaying the brief conversation I had with Spencer yesterday. I didn't say what really bothered me. It is two-fold. That she basically accused me of taking her and this thing too seriously…or the fact that I was the one in danger of falling. It hurt all over again.

"Let's go out. We need beer and dancing." Claire said, grabbing my wrists. I shrugged and followed her out the door.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Claire asked as we browsed the sex shop.

"What better time?" I said, nodding to the different styles of sex toys. Some of the items in the shop were comical, particularly the varied collection of blow-up sex dolls and porn movies.

"When we are sober for one...not after Spencer had a weird freak out about the situation for two…" She muttered before pointing to one particular toy.

"That one!" Claire exclaimed. I responded with a noise somewhere between a shush and a hiss. The employee on duty looked up from his newspaper wearily.

"It is a little big but that is sort of the point if you are buying one. And you will want lube." Claire asserted. I was just trying to nod while willing the blush on my cheeks to subside.

"Whatever you say."

"Even if things don't work out the way you want them to with Spencer, it is still good to have stuff like this. It will help you spice it up in the bedroom in general." Claire wagged her eyebrows suggestively.

"You remind me a lot of Hanna sometimes." I said.

* * *

**Facebook chat. April 30th. Third person POV.**

Paige felt it was better to just try and have a normal conversation rather than try to broach the impenetrable wall Spencer threw up in their last conversation.

**Paige McCullers:** Hey.

It was almost a painful relief to see Paige online and talking to her again since their last conversation. Spencer has exchanged a few generalities with Paige via text, but for the most part Paige was keeping an emotional distance.

**Spencer Hastings:** Hey! How have you been?

**Paige McCullers:** Things have been alright.

**Paige McCullers:** Nothing I can't handle, especially with swim season being over. What about you?

**Spencer Hastings:** School has been stressful, especially while working nearly full-time at the diner.

**Spencer Hastings:** Sorry about our last conversation on here.

**Spencer Hastings:** I still meant what I said, but I'm really looking forward to seeing you.

**Paige McCullers:** I know.

**Paige McCullers:** I am looking forward to seeing you too.

This conversation was good. Paige was taking the boundaries she set in stride, or at least right now while they were nowhere near one another.

**Spencer Hastings:** I feel like I never knew you till these past few months. Like when I see you, you will look different or something.

**Paige McCullers:** Well I haven't done any drastic new haircuts since you last saw me. Despite my fondness for abrupt hair style changes.

**Spencer Hastings:** Would it be weird if we did a Google hangout?

Paige looked down at her outfit. Not the best but acceptable.

**Paige McCullers:** Sure. Will I be serenaded by your roommates?

**Spencer Hastings:** I'll see what I can do…to avoid that at all costs.

After a bit of fiddling with the volume, finding her mic and plugging it into the jack, Paige finally heard and saw Spencer on her screen. Spencer looked impossibly beautiful, even more so than Paige remembered.

Paige looked so cute. And hot. Somewhere between hot and cute. And even though she had not done anything drastically different to her hair, Spencer did think Paige looked different. Well she was tanner, probably from visiting the beach more. But it was this strange feeling of having built a certain image of Paige in her head over the last couple months and being reminded what Paige actually looked like.

Spencer reached out and stroked Paige's pixeled image even though it instantly embarrassed her to do it. What a sap.

"Uh…did you just stroke my face? Like my pixel face?" Paige asked, looking confused before smirking.

"Sorry. Hey." Spencer said.

"Hey." Paige replied. Suddenly they were both bashful.

"Want to give me a tour? Do you have a built-in mic?" Paige asked.

"Yes and absolutely. But I have to warn you I won't be able to strip during this tour as my roommates are around everywhere. Since they have multiplied like ants recently." Spencer added.

"Fair enough." Paige said, laughing.


End file.
